The Clintonian Defense

The Clintonian Defense is when someone does something wrong (and it was obviously wrong) and says that they didn't know it was wrong and therefore should not receive any punishment.

Man, didn't know I'd get a ticket if I ran that red light. I'll use the Clintonian Defense to get out of a ticket.

by Styxgoyenhammer666 November 27, 2017

Zimmerman Defense

Usually armed with guns, engaging with hopefully unarmed person(s), looking for trouble, gets into a losing conflict, shoots and then cry victim.

When cited you shouldn't have been there bothering people in the first place, causing drama snd caught hands, the alleged shooter pulls "The Zimmerman Defense " and cry "self defense" to the Judge.

by SkyNet313 November 21, 2021

Chapelle Defense

Used to describe when someone is being racists, homophobic or transphobic but they have a friend of the group they are targeting who said it is ok so they are doing nothing wrong.

Ricky Gervais at the Apollo Theater:

Welcome everyone, especially all you niggers in the front row seats. Tt must have been very hard to afford tickets with all your family responsibilities, oh who am I kidding we all know you are still out getting smokes - don't worry I asked my one black friend and they said this shit is funny so I am not being racist - it is called the Chapelle Defense.

by knives and tulips October 14, 2021

mouthwash defense

Used by probationers who aren't allowed to drink alcohol to explain why they fail breathalyzers. Similar to the toothpaste defense, the cough syrup defense, and the hand-sanitizer defense, the latter of which only applies to ETG tests (Urine alcohol tests).

Probation officer: You failed your breathalyzer.

Probationer: I didn't drink alcohol, I just used mouthwash before I came here.

Probation Officer: That's the mouthwash defense. It's bullshit and you know it. You're going to jail.

by Lupara2012 August 1, 2012

Defensive Dialing

The act of pulling out your cell phone after seeing someone you know but want to avoid conversing with them. The hope is that they see that you are busy on your phone, so they decide they shouldn't approach you. This must be done before the person notices that you in fact, saw them first.

I saw my old neighbor outside while I was checking the mail today. I pulled out my cell phone and started defensive dialing so that I wouldn't have to get stuck talking to him for the next 10 minutes.

by Deadinlivingform October 10, 2011

Hemingway Defense

Where the stress and work of artistic expression is used to excuse substance abuse, chemical dependencies and other toxic coping-mechanisms.

"I also employed the world-famous Hemingway Defense... which goes something like this: as a writer, I am a very sensitive fellow, but I am also a man, and real men don't give in to their sensitivities. Only sissy-men do that. Therefore I drink. How else can I face the existential horror of it all and continue to work? Besides, come on, I can handle it. A real man always can."
-- Stephen King

by The Logical Fallacy February 17, 2023

Pre-Defense

the feeling of preparing yourself for a discussion or an argument. You make sure that every fact, opinion or point that you want to make gets across exactly how you would want it to if you were actually saying it to someone in person. It makes you feel as if you "won" the argument or got your point across successfully because you actually thought it out, when in reality all you did was go over what you said to yourself in the shower, in the mirror, or even to your mom. Most people get this feeling when they know or feel as though they are about to get into an argument or if they feel heavily about a topic they already know what they want to say. Usually when it gets to the argument or the discussion most people forget what they "planned" to say and just start speaking without thinking about what they already thought about.

My roommate had a pre-defense to her and her boyfriend's argument.

by Ccrobin August 30, 2018