barefoot contessa

noun.

a sex goddess who is a "lady on the street but a freak in the bed". she suppresses her nymphomania by cooking gourmet and unreplicable meals.

"dawg have you seen that barefoot contessa?! she is one hot piece of ass!"

by clairebear31 May 6, 2010

no contest

Usually used when comparing things in a funny way.

One item is so vastly superior that it just fucking bitch slaps the competition.

Or that both items are equal and therefore the funniness is gone and the term becomes more literal.

That bitch and this bitch? No contest my man. This bitch is the shit.

Xbox 360 and PS3? No contest, your shit just RRoDed your ass and my PS3 YLoDed.

Mac or PC? No contest there man, I figured out how to get PC on my Mac. 'cept the GPU sucks.

by Allen75 June 7, 2010

pissing contest

When two parties to an argument that should be resolved by compromise, which is to say an argument in which both parties have flaws and valid points to their argument, attempt to win the argument by offending or damaging each other. There's no winner, both parties wind up damaged.

Jim and Diane are in a pissing contest for their friends. In the waning weeks of their relationship Jim and Diane each try to win the allegiance of their common friends by telling derogatory stories about the other.

by Tom Mitchell June 11, 2006

dick measuring contest

A friendly competition between you and your friends to see who has the best claim to say, "Mine's bigger." Both more reliable in its results and more fun for the competitors where the results are determined, not by the competitors themselves, but by objective female judges.

At the end of the dick measuring contest, she gave me a hand job.

by adam phillips November 8, 2008

wet t-shirt contest

a contest in which a few selective hot ladies with very large tits

"hey man i heard bobb's hostin a wet t-shirt contest! he's inviting all of the hoes and babes from the hood!"

by bobb February 6, 2003

ass kissing contest

An election where the politician who kisses the most asses wins.

I didn't watch any of the ass kissing contest did you?

by Deep Blue 2012 September 8, 2009

popularity contest

n. What you get when you take two dogs, three cats and a sack and shake vigorously

When I was in seventh grade, everything was a popularity contest. If you had too few friends, if you were too mean, too nice, too perky, too apathetic, too anything, you were a weirdo or a freak.

by Laurariea Jasmine Adairra June 23, 2007