Ass-essing the situation

Scanning the area and spotting out all the girls with a nice ass

Bob: look... over there i see so many nice asses
Steve: are you Ass-essing the situation?

by Jonny Long Schlong June 12, 2011

Situational Awareness

Code for not doing shit at work

Boss: Hey, what are you working on today?

Employee: Well, first and foremost, I plan to maintain a high level of situational awareness.

Boss: Outstanding.

by bleeper1 August 10, 2009

gumball situation

Something that is a potential hit or miss. Or perhaps, something that would require a decent amount of energy but might not necessarily pay off.

Additionally, this phrase emphasizes the lack of probability of any given outcome.

Hey this gumball situation movement is a real gumball situation.

by Elise and Co. May 30, 2008

Shituation

A shitty situation for everyone except Sean Connery

Guy1: I got caught wanking in the exam hall
Guy2: Sounds like a bloody shituation bro.

by rujuunnum June 9, 2017

Emergency Shituation

When a baby poops themselves in an awkward way, time or place, and if the baby is not changed immediately things will only get worse!

*Prrrrrchhhht* "Oh No!" they said as they saw the poop running down the baby's leg and into the stroller. With no more wipes this is an Emergency Shituation!!

by hardwarehunney514 June 11, 2011

Situational Tourette's

The sudden out burst of profanities that is released when something unfortunate happens. Most commonly seen when a person stubs their toe.

Shawn had a bad case of Situational Tourette's the other night when he banged his bad knees on the coffee table.

You can't bust into situational tourette's every time you miss the eight ball, man.

by BeerSlinger August 31, 2010

situation fabrication

Or S.F.
A situation that is fabricated/scripted/manipulated by a person to get a desired response from a unsuspecting person

My gf asked

"has that slut texted you?"
No...(text message alert goes off)
Well shit, Situation fabrication just fucked me.

by XxxSFxxX September 14, 2016