If you chuck in a mythical monster which no-one in a huge crowd has ever seen, make him out to be the cutest thing since Gizmo, and situate in a growing land with no-one to bother you, you've got one booming business!
If you go down to Loch Ness today you'll see the splendors of the midgie, a fly like the mosquitoe, who attack in thousands.
Or maybe the herds of yanks, who come with their massive cars, fat wifes and fatter children, who pay over 30 pound to watch some acne-infested student tell them about the legend of an over-sized fish, which he reads off his hand.
In the case of an emergency, such as Nessie getting kidnapped by a senile old billionaire, a fire, or 99.9% of the time, the tour guide needing a fag break, just wait a few hours as he walks out to tend to the needs of his habit and goes to get something to eat, while you stand with a bunch of other gullible foreigners who don't understand what exactly the receptionist was laughing about when you handed her a 100 pound note.
And after a complete waste of 2 hours, sit down and chow on a nessie burger, which can be found in the dozens of burger bars situated in Loch Ness.
(Do not believe that the name nessie burger means that there is any source of Nessie in it. It tastes more like hobo)
Like that isn't enough, come buy cute nessie dolls at the toy shops, such as Nessie saying "Cause im green, innit?"
or the usual "scottish stereotype being chased by a ferocious penise shaped head while fishing for chips" shirt.
So, if your looking to get swindled out of your money, have your kids flesh torn apart by midgies, and all in all, sit in the pishing rain looking for your green chum Nessie, come ahead.
It fab dabby dastard. (Cough)
If you go down to Loch Ness today you'll see the splendors of the midgie, a fly like the mosquitoe, who attack in thousands.
Or maybe the herds of yanks, who come with their massive cars, fat wifes and fatter children, who pay over 30 pound to watch some acne-infested student tell them about the legend of an over-sized fish, which he reads off his hand.
In the case of an emergency, such as Nessie getting kidnapped by a senile old billionaire, a fire, or 99.9% of the time, the tour guide needing a fag break, just wait a few hours as he walks out to tend to the needs of his habit and goes to get something to eat, while you stand with a bunch of other gullible foreigners who don't understand what exactly the receptionist was laughing about when you handed her a 100 pound note.
And after a complete waste of 2 hours, sit down and chow on a nessie burger, which can be found in the dozens of burger bars situated in Loch Ness.
(Do not believe that the name nessie burger means that there is any source of Nessie in it. It tastes more like hobo)
Like that isn't enough, come buy cute nessie dolls at the toy shops, such as Nessie saying "Cause im green, innit?"
or the usual "scottish stereotype being chased by a ferocious penise shaped head while fishing for chips" shirt.
So, if your looking to get swindled out of your money, have your kids flesh torn apart by midgies, and all in all, sit in the pishing rain looking for your green chum Nessie, come ahead.
It fab dabby dastard. (Cough)
Roaaaar! Im Nessie, i can speak over so languages and im lovable and cute, so why dont you buy your kids some of my over-expensive inexpensible merchandise? your kids will love you for years to come. unless you dont like kids. You like kids- dont you?
Loch Ness Tourism Board
Loch Ness Tourism Board
by Biafra J July 26, 2004
Get the Loch Nessmug. The essence of nerdiness that makes one eligible for membership in the Murray State University Honors Program, or HP. Especially present in the freshman class of 04-05. Marked by an addiction to the HP Forum and a love for hanging out with other HP-ers.
Tyler is the HP king because he has the biggest HP-ness.
After Christmas break, I was really needing some HP-ness.
After Christmas break, I was really needing some HP-ness.
by Shannon March 2, 2005
Get the HP-nessmug. Suave-ness - Meaning - An action Or Person who is rather smooth, calm or has (SWAG - urghh)
An add on to the word suave: the quality of being bland and gracious or ingratiating in manner.
An add on to the word suave: the quality of being bland and gracious or ingratiating in manner.
Speaks for its self: The Whispers - Keep On Lovin' Me
The video to this the guys are on some ultimate suave-ness.
The video to this the guys are on some ultimate suave-ness.
by Dr-Acuala February 26, 2012
Get the Suave-nessmug. by _violet_ May 4, 2018
Get the ed-nessmug. People start making a chain then someone break it because they don’t like chain. That’s Being a Ness
by sotam G May 4, 2021
Get the Being a Nessmug. The act of being joined in a sisterly bond that cannot be broken; which is so awesome and amazing you are able to find a kind of completeness (peace) in eachother. Even when separated after long periods of time, you are able to still come together as if you were never apart and talk for hours. These are the women that you care for unconditionally and carry with you to the ends of the earth. Being joined closer than anyother sisterly bond.
In our sisterhood-ness, I know that we will always be there for eachother without judgement: to comfort, console, and direct.
by MyAngel3022 August 23, 2011
Get the Sisterhood-nessmug. The quality of being stupid, of being able to frequently or constantly display stupidity of choice, thought, word, or deed.
The stupidity-ness of College-maleducated Snowflakes is almost boundless. They are too stupid to know that the reason they can’t get a job, talk face-to-face, spell, write a grammatically correct sentence, enjoy a funny movie or why they constantly think that they are being oppressed or victimized AND HAVE RIDICULOUS COLLEGE LOANS TO PAY OF is because THEY REALLY ARE VICTIMS... not of white, heterosexual married men and fathers with jobs taking care of their families BUT INSTEAD, VICTIMS OF A college system that DIDN’T EDUCATE THEM SO THAT THEY COULD BE PRODUCTIVE AND SELF-SUFFICIENT, but instead just mass-produced them into Political Activists, armed with misrepresentations, lies and paranoid fiction and a perverse Racial Intolerance called Identity Politics. Their STUPIDITYNESS is that they SHOULD BE ANGRY AT the college faculties and curricula that took away their opportunities for an optimistic future and saddled them with the hatefulness and delusions of an ideology intent on taking away their freedoms to think, to speak, to choose for themselves, to express themselves as individuals and to improve their lot in life with hard work.
by Tired of Progressive Malarky December 19, 2019
Get the Stupidity-nessmug.