mathturbation

What pseudoscientists, cranks and charlatans use to "prove" their self-indulgent theories.

The nutjob used mathturbation to show that the Bible contains an encrypted message warning of the September 11th attacks.

by AbnormalBoy December 2, 2004

How to masturbate

How a man in prison gets off in the shower by himself

Get naked, get hard, lube your thighs, stick your hard-on between your legs, run in place until victory! Now you know How to Masturbate - Convict style

by Skin Head Peanut April 14, 2008

guitar-masturbate

(verb) to play notes and chords with no rhythm or relation to each other, 99 percent of the time sounds like crap, noobs do it often

Guy 1: how did you play at the concert yesterday?
Guy 2: ah. i forgot how to play my song so i had to guitar-masturbate
Guy 1: ouch.
Guy 2: yeah people threw stuff at me and my girlfriend left me after the concert
Guy 1: next time just learn your material, idiot

by hawktalons6 January 8, 2009

Public Masturbater

One guy

One trench coat
One sick chub
LOTS PUBLIC SEMEN.

Gabe, the ultimate public masturbater, was masturbating at the Grapevines Mills and his mom spotted him so he ran.

he was shot by Seth Rogen.

by PUBLICMASTURBATER-GABESKRILLZ October 24, 2009

Must not Masturbate March ( MMM )

MMM is the abbreviation for one of the hardest challenges the average woman will face if she wishes to attempt it. MMM stands for "Must not Masturbate March" where a woman is test to the core of her will. She will have to go the whole month of March with out masturbating. Many women compare this challenge to Navy SEAL training.

Woman 1: Girl are you still doing Must not Masturbate March ( MMM )?

Woman 2: No way girl I barley lasted 5 days and I finally gave into ( MMM )

by Akhi October 25, 2020

masturbaterial

Material that is suitable to be masturbated to, masturbated with or masturbated on.

Example-
"Dude did you see that new Kate Moss photo?"
"Is is masturbaterial?"
"Every photo of Kate Moss is masturbaterial."

by Brenanna February 1, 2014

Mustn't Masturbate Merry Christmas

"Mustn't Masturbate Merry Christmas" is a challenge given to mostly men that revolves around that masturbating for all of Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Those who fail are forced to become elves, working in Santa's workshop for the rest of their lives. Those who pass, however, are given 30 minutes to do what they'd like with Mrs Claus, Santa's wife. Most, however, tend to pork her.

Person 1: Why have you been so down recently?
Person 2: I don't know. I just can't find the holiday spirit.
Person 1: Just participate in "Mustn't Masturbate Merry Christmas"!
Person 2: What's that?
Person 1: *shows them Urban Dictionary definition*
Person 2: Don't ever talk to me again.
Person 1: *commits suicide*

by Your Materfamilias December 23, 2018