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(Girl) Carpenter's Dream

Stiff as a board, and won't split when you screw.

First coined by Ms. J. Feasley in 2003.
by wormwood & haze June 16, 2010
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Carpenters assistant

to give someone fallatio while they operate a power tool
Patty gave joe one hell of a carpenters assistant last week
by Gootee Root October 13, 2011
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Calenderize

To add something onto a calender or schedule.
Person 1: Did you remember about the party tomorrow?

Person 2: Oh no, I forgot to calenderize it!
by K and K incorperated July 6, 2010
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Carpenters Pencil

A Carpenters pencil is when a male/female brings a male to climax by wanking them off with their ear. They then sit on the persons face after.
by Christy 2011 May 8, 2011
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Bartender

A person who mixes and serves drinks at a bar.
by Definitive Positive April 16, 2020
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Pocket Bartender

Mike: "Dubie, I'm goin' to pocket bartender you in the dick."
Dubie: "What does that mean?"
Mike: "It means I'm going to cut your dick off!"
by DubDiesel January 29, 2009
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Robert Carpenter

An absolute bum Lord.
Spends his entire life playing video consoles that half the world has not heard of and claims he is the best when playing with his friends, who barely know the game.

A drunken homo who thinks he is living the dream, but spends his money down the same pub drinking with the same people every night after a pathetic day's work.
He generally sleeps in the van hanging from the night before because he fucking useless.
In fact he is not any good when he is sober hence the drinking, because facing the reality of being a loser is to much for a person of his weakness.

A frail and scared little man that could fall over at the sight a door mouse.
Can't really see the point of this creature.

Guess they broke the mould with this ridiculous being.

If you come across one, just ignore it, it has nothing to offer you at all.

Would rather talk to road kill.
Oh dear there's a Robert carpenter.
Keep walking
by Dreamspeech February 3, 2019
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