Platinum Wank

When a "posh wank" is insufficient.
involves the use of a condom AND lubricant.

Maybe even a pre shower, shave and shite etc...
you get the idea.

T: "hey Dave, did u pull your head off last night with that porn we traded....?"

D: "hell ye, but I had to go platinum. a poshy just wouldn't do!"

T: "A platinum wank eh? I like ur style! bit expensive tho"

by h2ous June 16, 2009

Grief Wank

The act of masturbating in a time of great sadness or melancholy, often thought to be a remedy for such feelings. However, they are mostly counterproductive, often self-affirming the loneliness of the participant "at hand".

I'm really struggling getting over Emily recently", "Oh yeah? That sucks", "Last night, I tried a Grief Wank to help me out, y'know?", "I see, how did that go?", "...J..just hug me man, I'm dying here

by Merjiba April 13, 2011

posh wank

ejaculating in a condom whilst mastrubating

putting a condom on then having a wank therefore you are having a posh wank

by thomdavid October 16, 2009

Dutch Wank

When you're mate holds your cock and you hold his wrist and move his hand up and down until ejaculation

Mark and Andy both love a good dutch wank ..........

by Yogi36 June 6, 2011

wank-a-tron

the name given to some1 hu is addicted to wanking. the person usually wanks more thna 5 times a day.

'hey dude i caught ben wanking at the open air pool AND the boys toilets'

'haha what a wank-a-tron'

by Trite June 11, 2008

wank-biscuit

1. Someone who is not actually a wanker, but a more mild one.
2. Posh term for "Wanker"

You wank-biscuit, give me that back

by Techno Joker May 31, 2003

bat wank

position in which the female hangs from the posts of a four-poster bed, reconstructing the mating rituals of the bat. males then form an orderly que under her, and she proceeds to blow and wank off each male in turn, moving along the line as she goes. this is representative of the motion in a commercial warehouse. a quick way to please a large number of men.

girl: ''i bat wanked 23 guys in 45 minutes last night, that must be a world record. on the downside, my hands are raw, my mouth is dry and my legs have seized up in the hanging position''

by LOLA&SAMMIE July 7, 2009