This is why we can't have nice things

No matter how nice of a thing you have, no matter how hard you may try, someone will always find a way to fuck it up.

Josh: Hey bro can I borrow your phone?
Me: I dunno man, I just bought this. I don't even have a case on it yet!
Josh: Chill dude, I ain't gonna break it. It'll just take a second..
Me: Okay...
Josh:*Immediately drops it on the ground, denting the corner*
Me: God damn it Josh, this is why we can't have nice things.

by re3ja April 25, 2016

I Don't Know, Can You

A simple phrase, but usually uttered by trash human beings. Usually it is a sarcastic response after someone says "Can I ....... (Enter More Sentence Here)?" If someone says this near you, you may want to exclude them from your friend list.

Person 1: "Can I get a drink of water?"
Person 2: "I don't know, CAN YOU?"

by Mr. EEEEEEE October 28, 2019

I can’t breathe

An extraordinary way to say ‘i love you’ or ‘i love you too’. It might be confusing at first but it is sometimes used by people who cringes at the phrase ‘i love you’. Or they just want to be unique. It is also used in a movie about a couple.

Her: I love you
Him: I can’t breathe
Her: What do you mean?
Him: I mean I love you too...

by Anonymous Loving Creature April 3, 2019

can't touch this

MC Hammer had a hit with the name "U Can't Touch This." Generally means "I'm too good for you." or "You'll never be as good as I am."

Two people are dancing:
Person 1: Can't touch this!
Person 2: Darn. (walks off the dance floor)

by ilovealtoids November 7, 2004

You can't polish a turd

You can't make something that's not naturally good great even with the hardest attempts.

"After years, he's just never going to change his selfish ways." "Well, you can't polish a turd!!"

by SarcasticSeminar101 August 3, 2015

Can't Beat 'Em, Join 'Em Club

A group of asshole players who join the team that they can't beat

*Notable members of Can't Beat 'Em, Join 'Em Club:
~ Ron Artest (Metta World Peace), signed with the Lakers after being eliminated in the second round (2009 playoffs)
~ Ray Allen, signed with the Heat after being eliminated in the conference finals (2012 playoffs)
~ Andre Iguodala, signed with the Warriors after being eliminated in the first round (2013 playoffs)
~ Kevin Durant, signed with the Warriors after being eliminated in the conference finals (2016 playoffs)
~ Since LeBron James is 2-0 against the Heat during 2009-10 season, He is not a member of this club

by Unicornication July 10, 2016

I’ve fallen and I can’t get it up!

The more current, commonplace version of the old saying now that folks don’t necessarily need to be able to ambulate well in order to fuck.

I don’t know what happened, I took my Vitamin V and now I’ve fallen and I can’t get it up!

by Dr Bunnygirl October 24, 2019