Lover Wank

When your having a wank, just before you blow the load, shout out your girlfriend/boyfriend then try and finish the job before they get into your room, if not they can finish you off.

Wow Ted failed to finish his wank so his girl gave him a lover wank!

by John.E June 21, 2015

Wank Sock

Also known as "The Love Sock". The old sock that you use to ejaculate into when masturbating and thrown under the bed.

"Shit, i've been busted. My mum found my wank sock under the bed last night!"

by Arse face August 13, 2017

Posh wank

Chiefly in British English: Masturbating with a condom on.

She flaked last minute so I ended up having a posh wank instead.

by Ksuave March 7, 2020

pride wank

To masturbate over the proudness of oneself (rather than a sexual fantasy).

I'm so proud of myself for getting this promotion. I'm going to have a great pride wank tonight.

by X7000 September 12, 2017

consolation wank

Masturbation that occurs after one has attempted and failed to have sex with someone. May be called a "consolation fap" by someone born after 1990.

We went back to her place and I thought this was the night, but she said she wasn't ready so I settled for a consolation wank after she fell asleep.

by ghostofshoegazer February 12, 2014

woke-wank

A gesture, speech or outburst from a highly motivated member of the elitist wokerati.

Here we go again, lefties having a woke-wank.
I will not be woke-wanked on this one!

by garethc January 27, 2023

Crab-Wank

To squat down on your toes, reaching under the leg to masturbate in a downward motion.
Common sport amongst contractors working away from home. Of an evening, should they be feeling frisky and risky, they may strip off, carefully climb up on to the B&B’s sink rim, tiptoes on the unsupported edge. Whilst in this expert position he may decide to crab-wank one out whist his face/eye is pressed against the mirror, eyeballing himself until completion.

Martin: How was your evening Andy?
Andy: Pretty tragic really.
Martin: But I thought you had your night planned? Kebab and a crab-wank you said??
Andy: The kebab was great and I was after a thrill before bed.
Martin: What’s tragic about that? Did you manage the expert?
Andy: Almost, but the sink came off the wall and I couldn’t finish.
Martin: Still, better than Steve last year, his sink shattered and cut his femoral artery.

Andy: Hummnn, I may go back to the floor for a bit…

by Goatboy Grasshead June 8, 2021