Soccer mom

An American bourgeois woman of the post baby boom generation, who, instead of reaping the benefits of the sexual revolution that her foremothers and sisters fought so hard for, sold out to the new patriarchy which promised stability in the form of white suburban neighborhoods, wordSUVwords, drive-through wordStarbuckswords and yearly trips on Carnival Cruise Line. The only dose of women's lib that transpired through their lifestyle is their endorsement of the the typically male dominated tradition of sport (usually soccer) onto their daughters. But don't be fooled - the fact that these women refer to themselves as "soccer MOMS" only reaffirms their sociological status as mere vessels for the incubation of their progeny.

I just got back from my high school reunion, and all the old cheerleaders are now lard-assed soccer moms.

by Anonymous July 23, 2003

Soccer Mom

A white middle-to-upper-middle class woman, generally aged 30-55. Has the requisite 2.3 kids. Usually the product of a loveless childhood and an equally loveless marriage as the trophy wife of an up-and-coming executive or professional. Motto is "my kids are my life". Refers to her kids as "my Precious Little Angels" (PLAs) or "God's Gifts to Me" (GGTMs), and believes the entire world exists just for the benefit of her PLAs. Terrified that child molesters are lurking behind every bush, and that gays are determined to "recruit" her PLAs. Obsessed with whatever is the latest "danger to kids" being promoted that week on Oprah or Dr. Phil or the latest Parenting Magazine. The Soccer Mom is constantly badgering school officials and politicians, promoting the latest "nanny law/regulation" to protect the GGTMs. Usually fundie or conserviative Christian with a cult-like obsession, and makes sure her PLAs participate in choir and church soccer camps (hence the term: "Soccer Mom"). Extremely controlling of the social life of the GGTMs, repressing all independent thought, and all signs of non-conformity. The GGTMs teen years are marked by Ritalin and trips to high priced child psychologists. The PLA daughter often grows up to be an XXX rated porn star, while the PLA son becomes a transvestite drummer in a punk rock band.

The Soccer Mom has been the artistic inspiraton for outstanding movies such as "Diary of a Mad Housewife" and "The Betty Broderick Story". Also classic songs such as "Harper Valley PTA".

by frantic1971 March 25, 2010

Soccer mom

Stupid,arogant whiny bitches like the person who wrote definition #87 who think they're brave because they can sware on teh web (If anyone corrects me 'cause they're stupid enough cunts to think that was supposed to read 'the web', I'll shoot them), even though they can't spell the word 'curse'.

Joe: Really? Some dumbass soccer mom missspelled 'curse'?
Bob: Yeah, dude.
Joe:TWICE?
Bob: YEAH
Joe: AH HA HA! WHAT A STUPID CUNT

by Wouldn't you like to know?. December 1, 2007

Soccer Mom

Retarded bitches who would protect their children from Video Games, Movies, Anime, Internet and just anything that contains the words hell or damn (I know these aren't swear words of course). They would yell at anybody who mentions anything about them. Even at a librarian who just lets someone know that none of that content is available (I'm glad I don't have such a overprotective mother).

Me: Excuse me but is there any manga here?

Librarian: Sorry. This library does not carry manga or anim...

Soccer Mom passing by: HEY! YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT STUFF AROUND MY KIDS!!!! OR I'M...

Librarian: SHHHHHH!!!!

Soccer Mom: *Who was dumb enough to think that the librarian was going to say the word "shit"* DON'T YOU SAY THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE!

Me: *takes soccer mom outside, 50 feet away from the library and casts Blazemost (a Dragon Warrior spell)* Silence is golden bitch!

by StraightFMan February 14, 2005

Soccer Mom

A 25 to 45 year old woman, usually caucasian, who drives her "precious angels" around in a giant miny van. They censor anything fun such as gta and cod. Internet is what she calls "hell" because she's too stupid to teach them internet safety. Her children are a girl and a boy, both of whom got to some after school activity or another. They are usually dumb, slutty, and a bitch/asshole when they grow up. Her husband is some lawyer or a doctor who makes more more in a week than some people do in 3 months which is a crying shame. He is always on a "buisiness trip", fucking his secretary. The children can't see or hear ANYTHING BAD or they will grow up to be "poisened and scarred". I think they shelter them too much, they need a healthy dose of reality. And so do the parents.

I was sitting in the mall food court with my friend, talking about GTA SA and how I stole cars and killed people and stuff. The soccer mom was like, DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT IN FRONT OF MY KIDS, and I was like, it's just reality. You gotta accept it. Go some where else then.

Fucking stupid soccer mom

by Tea MCBAGGER December 11, 2011

Soccer mom

A bitchy overprotective 40-something asswipe with 2.5 kids and a big ass fucking van.

Soccer moms need to get fucked in the ass

by SOKKERMOMSUKK December 28, 2005

Soccer Mom

Upper-middle class caucaisian north american women. They drive large gas guzzling SUVs and think that their kids are better than anything in the universe and won't make any mistake. ever.
they are the reason nobody can have fun anymore because of safety regulations and why everyone is super insecure. they are often passive agressive and have a hard time saying no or discipling their childeren this results in their children having no self esteem.

We MUST destroy all soccer moms

Sheryll is a soccer mom, look at her new Chevy Suburban and her kids Brenden and Preston.

by BoredWhiteGuy February 1, 2016