time to suck todays dick

When you have to do something that isn't fun
Student : I don't wanna go take that math test.

Other student: I know, time to suck todays dick
by Dale Denton January 26, 2018
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1. a more direct way of saying "how's it hanging"

2. a phrase normally said to men, but can also be said to women, although you should use caution. Depending upon the woman, context, or situation in which the question is asked, the woman could very well take it offensively. You should only use this with women you feel very comfortable with or ones with very little pride.
so we were sitting there and john just leaned over and asked me
"and how are your testicles today?"
by jason348 December 29, 2006
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You gonna learn today

Pronounced "Yoo Gohn Lurn Duhdey!" (sometimes the "You" is eliminated), a viral catchphrase by Kevin Hart during his 'Alright, alright, alright!' segment of "Laugh at My Pain".
Kevin Hart explains that his father 'legitamately' walks in during his spelling bee, being outrageously loud—along with the dog on drugs—and repeating the phrase "Alright, Alright, Alriiiiiiiiiiiiiight!".
The phrase is used—but not limited to—mainly in high school to joke about how one will know what sex is, a long dick is, etc. but can be used in other various cases (or forms).
#1:

Girl 1: Sheesh, I can't believe it. Last night, with the hottest guy, was boooring! He had NOTHING!
Boy 1: Oh really? I can make tonight good for you?
Girl 1: You? Hah! How?
Boy 1: You gonna learn today…

#2

Coach: Alright, 100 push-ups! No breaks in between! If you fall flat before doing it, 4 laps around the track nonstop running!
Kid 1: *whispering to teamates* We gonna work today…
by DarkMario1000 on Youtube January 08, 2012
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I'm gonna Trump today.

I can't Trump today means to blow off all responsibilities and go play golf.
Fuck work,

I'm gonna Trump today.
by Max Nicks August 22, 2017
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too much internet for today

When you're on the internet and well, you know, something kinda happens. You know. You know. You know- 😏
*on the computer screen a guy vomits by accident but the video is him eating a harmless doughnut*
Guy watching: welp, that's too much internet for today.
*the guy watching closes the computer and grabs his phone out of his pocket to call his therapist*
by lakalakaboomboom October 17, 2020
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how r u today

How R U today? is the strapline for the young people's website CyberMentors.org.uk

CyberMentors are young people trained by the charity Beatbullying to support and assist their peers online. So if you want to talk to someone your own age about a problem, visit cybermentors.org.uk
How r u today?

im gd fanks!

How r u today?
im nt so gd - I need 2 tlk 2 sum1 pls
by DesignGenius September 26, 2009
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You look different today

A way of implying that one has had sex the night before
You look different today. Did you have sex last night?
by MYSTERYHUMAN👀👀 March 05, 2022
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