selfish

Selfishness is a heinous act committed by ones friends when they all fall asleep on them during a heavy and eventful night on the session.

youre a bunch of selfish cunts why have you fallen asleep on me, you're taking away from my fun

by anonymous December 3, 2020

Selfish

Basically what every girl says when she thinks you do something wrong

Homie Rob: I’m not getting back together with you. You cheated on my with my dad, and my brother

Lauren: omg you’re actually so selfish you don’t care about my feelings at all

by Sneckzy March 9, 2020

Selfish Walrus

The act of being a selfish person, as compared to a walrus that happens to be selfish.

Damn you Willy, share your juice, damn selfish walrus.

by Coolstorybro6969699696 November 4, 2011

Selfish

What stupid entitled parents claim what people that don't want to have children are, despite the fact that there is nothing wrong with not wanting to have children at all, nor is there anything wrong at all with wanting to have children.

Eva and Lucas are so selfish that they act as if the Earth is centered around them.

by PhoenixGamer34 September 7, 2022

selfish sympathy

Regretful soothing words dat you administer to someone else to supposedly make him feel better about a situation, but in reality you merely feel sorry for YOURSELF.

A classic "selfish sympathy" example, from an old "Peanuts" comic:

Schroeder, in exasperation at Lucy's pushy "over-attentiveness": Do you know what Beethoven never had?!
Lucy: What?
Schroeder, rantingly waving his arms above his head: Beethoven never had girls hanging on to his piano and bugging him about giving them presents!
Lucy, mildly shocked: He DIDN'T?! (pauses to ponder this fact) Poor Beethoven!

by QuacksO March 8, 2023

selfish snow-sweeping

Refers to where some lazy jacka** scrapes/brushes the icy white stuff off his car only enough to let him see out the windshield before driving away on a cold morning. Not only does this prevent him from safely "seeing and being seen", but it also means that huge clumps of snow will periodically fall off his vehicle and splatter onto the plowed roadway, messing up the lane where other motorists have to travel.

I always make sure to thoroughly clear away the latest winter-storm's buildup from my car before venturing out on the road, so that nobody can accuse me of selfish snow-sweeping.

by QuacksO April 11, 2019

selfish music

When you play music at a very low volume so that you are the only one who can hear it.

"It's so quiet in the office! Are you listening to selfish music again?"

"Yep."

"Well, I don't want to work in silence. I'll turn on some of my own, too!"

by pricklypear2018 October 12, 2018