verb: to use a board, wooden spoon, hairbrush, bathbrush and the like to spank a naughty girl on her bare ass.
by Anonymous September 7, 2003
Get the paddle mug.I nickname given to a vehicle police use to transport prisoners. The name came from the New York Draft riots of 1863. The Irish at the time were the poorest people in the city. When the draft was implemented it had a provision for wealthier people to buy a waiver. The Irish rioted, and the term Paddy wagon was coined.
by Paddy Noonan May 13, 2005
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Paddy
• paddy wagon
• paddle
• padding
• paddywhack
• paddleboat
• paddington bear
• paddle boating
• paddling
• Paddy Cake
When someone works your sack like a punching bag, but with their feet, while you piss in their face (displaying the spurts of water that accompany paddle boating)
"Dude, you think the Dutch Rudder kicks ass?? Wait till some chick gives you the Paddle Boat... with cashmere socks on."
by shewes February 3, 2009
Get the Paddle Boat mug.The entirely heterosexual act of copulating with other males in order to increase one's 'body count'. This has been popularised lately due to the 'modern woman' having an intrinsic repulsion to virginic males.
(Note: In the contemporary dating scene, a body count below 17 is widely considered to be 'sub-incel numbers' and is described by many as a form of C&B torture.)
There are many sexual benefits to padding. These include:
Confidence boost, penis confidence boost, better posture, better thrusting technique and power, ashwaganda, and on-demand BJs.
Several peer-reviewed papers have come forth with conclusive evidence that performing fellatio on a male penis corresponds with improved cunnilingus proficiency by up to 15%. World renowned pussyologist Dr Pussymandias famously stated:
"Yo, if yuh OPE/H oral penile ejaculations per hour index high, dat mean seh yuh know how fi please di Female Sexual Organs real good. Di two a dem have a strong link, yuh see me?" (note: Dr Pussymandias has recently had his academic and professional wrestling titles stripped for LARPing as a Jamaican man.)
(Note: In the contemporary dating scene, a body count below 17 is widely considered to be 'sub-incel numbers' and is described by many as a form of C&B torture.)
There are many sexual benefits to padding. These include:
Confidence boost, penis confidence boost, better posture, better thrusting technique and power, ashwaganda, and on-demand BJs.
Several peer-reviewed papers have come forth with conclusive evidence that performing fellatio on a male penis corresponds with improved cunnilingus proficiency by up to 15%. World renowned pussyologist Dr Pussymandias famously stated:
"Yo, if yuh OPE/H oral penile ejaculations per hour index high, dat mean seh yuh know how fi please di Female Sexual Organs real good. Di two a dem have a strong link, yuh see me?" (note: Dr Pussymandias has recently had his academic and professional wrestling titles stripped for LARPing as a Jamaican man.)
Ani: "Have you guys seen Alvin? I haven't seen him lately."
Niraj: "Nah mayne, I ain't even seen my own ass ASSHOLE since last year. An I ain't even gay!"
Ani: "Erm... I'm going to ignore that. Can you answer my question?"
Niraj: "Aint he yo boyfriend? Shiiiiet, I may have hit dat plump ass ass myself..."
Ani: "The last thing I heard him mutter under his breath was something to do with padding."
Niraj: "Bredda... bredda..."
Ani: "I looked it up on Urban Dictionary and found something about sticking tampons to walls... I am at my wits end."
Niraj: "Bredda the only thing getting Urbanly Dicked is your mans. He's getting DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKED."
Ani: "Erm... isn't that gay?"
Niraj: "Actually no, that is a misconception. He is merely painstakingly investing in his sexual marketplace value in order to be half the man you always wanted him to be."
Ani: "That sounds quite ga-"
Niraj: "Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING."
Ani: *sucks own pussy*
Niraj: *goes bollocks-on-the-wall insane*
Alvin: "I am having sex with men in order to increase my body count :) this is called padding."
The End
Niraj: "Nah mayne, I ain't even seen my own ass ASSHOLE since last year. An I ain't even gay!"
Ani: "Erm... I'm going to ignore that. Can you answer my question?"
Niraj: "Aint he yo boyfriend? Shiiiiet, I may have hit dat plump ass ass myself..."
Ani: "The last thing I heard him mutter under his breath was something to do with padding."
Niraj: "Bredda... bredda..."
Ani: "I looked it up on Urban Dictionary and found something about sticking tampons to walls... I am at my wits end."
Niraj: "Bredda the only thing getting Urbanly Dicked is your mans. He's getting DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKED."
Ani: "Erm... isn't that gay?"
Niraj: "Actually no, that is a misconception. He is merely painstakingly investing in his sexual marketplace value in order to be half the man you always wanted him to be."
Ani: "That sounds quite ga-"
Niraj: "Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING."
Ani: *sucks own pussy*
Niraj: *goes bollocks-on-the-wall insane*
Alvin: "I am having sex with men in order to increase my body count :) this is called padding."
The End
by BoganBumfucker March 30, 2023
Get the Padding mug.Protection against splashback via loading the toilet bowl with large amounts of toilet paper, creating a cushion-like padding in which poo may be gently dumped.
"Man, I used so much fucking Toilet Padding it almost clogged the pipes! Fucking half the whole roll man! If I hadn't, that shit man, it would have soaked my ass like a depth charge had gone off."
by Arkhangelsk July 19, 2009
Get the Toilet Padding mug.Someone who is bigger then a douche bag, yet smaller then a douche canoe. Thus meaning the Douche Paddle For the Douche Canoe.
Person 1 - 'Alright, you get half a quarter of my burger.'
Person 2 - 'Dude I haven't eaten since yesterday!'
Person 1 - 'Too bad, fag.
Person 2 - 'Dude you are such a Douche Paddle.
Person 2 - 'Dude I haven't eaten since yesterday!'
Person 1 - 'Too bad, fag.
Person 2 - 'Dude you are such a Douche Paddle.
by JezzInMyPants November 1, 2009
Get the Douche Paddle mug.When one is caught in a precarious situation where the likelihood of it ending in something positive is virtually non-existent.
I can't believe I hit that car with my Mom's new car. I have been driving around aimlessly for the past 2 hours because as soon as she sees this dent, I'm up shit creek without a paddle.
wrong situation
wrong situation
by TheBigCanucklehead March 15, 2015
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