Jessica Alba

An alternative to porn when men want to masturbate.

Example 1:

Jerking
Every
Second
Savagely
Imagining
Caressing
Alba
And
Licking
Beautiful
Alba

Example 2:

Joe: Hey Bob, you wanna go drinking at the bar tonight?

Bob: Nah, there's always a huge traffic jam up there every Friday. I think I'm gonna stay home and masturbate.

Joe: If I am at the liberty of asking, to whom or what will you be pleasuring yourself to this evening?

Bob: I don't know, I'm getting bored of the same old stuff.

Joe: What about Jessica Alba? She really gets my balls brewing!

Bob: Great idea! She's also been falsely regarded as the "sexiest woman alive" for quite some time now. Sexiest woman in the fucking Known Universe is more like it!

Joe: Fuck yeah! Now go fap off to that shit!

Bob: I will!

Example 3:

John: Did you see that chick that just walked by? What a babe, I would chop off my legs and arms just to have the opportunity to eat her shit.

Jay: Yeah, she's a total Jessica Alba.

by TZG_Eleven June 14, 2011

Jessica

A kind soul which will help in any situation and is full on caring to everyone around her even people she does not know. She tries her best in what ever she does and is a smart kind lady which will take part in anything she does. If you find to have a Jessica in your life keep it because one day she will have your back not necessarily tomorrow but one day.

“Thank you for always being there and you Jessica are the best.”

“That’s what friends are for Lucy.”

by PandaPrincess18 July 26, 2018

jessica kinsella

A Jessica Kinsella is someone with typically brown hair and glasses.
She is actually pretty cool go be friends with her 👌

Wow that’s jessica Kinsella, how cool is that fam?

by The fit guy master November 24, 2018

Jessica

A girl who is super friendly and outgoing.

Look at that girl over there??? She must be a Jessica!

by D Shok December 20, 2016

Jessica

A greek name which means "What god beholds"

Actual meaning: Very impish, pretty, complex, deadly.

"Man that jessica girl is pretty, but i cant read her."

by sticksstonesxx March 24, 2009

Jessica

A meme obsessed girl that loves cats

Jessica do your homework stop looking at memes

by #haters February 2, 2018

Jessica Simpson Disorder

A girl, either ugly, fat, or unpopular, that believes she is a splitting image of Jessica Simpson. Most usually, this girl has a very warped mind about the world, women in general, and mainly herself. She is led to believe due to this disorder that since she is so much like Jessica Simpson, she should be treated as such. If in any case you fail to treat her this way, with all her power, she will attempt to make you conform.
Many believe Jessica Simpson disorder to be related with heavy MTV viewing, cheese intake, and a long/drawn-out menstrual cycle, lasting an entire year. The only known cure is immediate psychiatric treatment. Removal from MTV/Cheese will combat some of the symptoms, but relapse is common.
Currently, 1% of the female population has this disorder, with 10% of those afflicted residing in Wisconsin.

"Dude, just fucking dump Heather already, nobody likes her. She is manipulating you with her Jessica Simpson Disorder."
"I thought the tv remote had a lot cheese powder on it."
"You better wash those hands, she'll lick 'em clean to the bone."

by Biff Justice November 2, 2005