status assassin

Someone who misuses the word "status" as a concrete object in the workplace. This is usually the sign of a micro-manager or someone working their way towards middle management.

Mary: I asked for that report last week. Can I get a status?
Bob: It's almost done

Mary: I need a status on that requisition.
Phil: It should be ready by Tuesday.

Mary: Could you give me a status on the new program?
Alan: Sure, how about "pending?"
Mary: Uh no, I mean... I need to know... Uh...
Alan: What? I gave you a status, you status assassin!

by Jock Tam July 28, 2009

Assassin

A trained killer hired for money to kill other people.

Assassin is also a song by the rock band Muse, it is probably the heaviest song on their new album

Guy 1:"I'll give you, being an assassin, £300 to kill this guy"
Guy 2: "Just a sec, I'm listening to this awesome song by Muse!"

by Tommy P1313 March 4, 2007

assassinate the toilet

The act of clogging not only your toilet but toilets within a 5 mile radius.

What happens after you watch Twillight and get violent diarrhea.

man #1: Dude I have to go assassinate the toilet.
man #2: Ill call the plumber.

by Reaper118us March 19, 2010

Silent Killing Assassins

A long-term counter-strike knifing clan. The leader of this clan is Nato Suicidal.

I'm gonna go play in the Silent Killing Assassins clan Server and get pwned by its members.

by Ub3r 1337 hax0r September 28, 2006

silent assassin

In a movie theater, masturbate quietly in your seat. Before climax, cup your hand in the shape of a silencer on the end of your penis and ejaculate onto the back of the head of the person in front of you. Then leave silently out of the theater.

The bitch in the front wouldn't stop talking on her phone during White Chicks, so I pulled out my silent assassin on her ass.

by DaTrueJDub April 21, 2007

Snowman Assassin

A snowman assassin is a person who destroys snowmen. He will watch his prey build their snowman before diving out of his hiding spot and destroying it via whatever means necessary. They travel in groups of 2-3 and have no mercy whatsoever when attacking a target. They attack with whatever they can ; fists , knee's , feet , weapons and are well known for there famous attack with their elbows.

Group of children : Oh wow this snowman we built is smashing !

Snowman Assassin : There it is ! Attack it ! ( Start attacking snowman )

by TheSnowmanAssassin January 8, 2010

asstassle

One of the more nuanced definitions of the slang term "asstassle" relates to a tool commonly known as a "fetish flogger," which is often employed at fetish and S&M club events. The term is slightly pejorative in that it carries an implication of banality and routine; of pseudo-sexual mundanity, devoid of actual passion or pain. The source of this slight negative tinge is, quite honestly, the experiences of several people in the Washington D.C. area, who have all been unfortunate enough to find themselves at local fetish events, and ruefully in the presence of big fat people in latex who can neither fuck nor stand pain. So in a desperate plea to appear sexual, these newly empowered narwhals stand around and nonchelantly tap each other on their blanched gluteals with this ostensibly naughty "asstassle" in an effort to bottle and sell the weakest taboo cabaret this side of Kansas, while our protagonists stand there, wonder where their lives went terrribly wrong, as they sip on extremely low quality bottles of stale beer and contemplate life outside the Christian Terrordome.

"So then he pulls an asstassle out of his pocket and starts tapping her ever so gently on the buttock. Needless to say I had to turn away or face the prospect of masturbating in the bathroom stall, this exchange was so mechanically erotic."

by br0d December 19, 2006