Skip to main content

Jesus Whompper

Kids with blue eyes and blonde hair, who's parents may have the same trait, and come from the south and brag about how awesome jesus is, even though deep down their awful people.
That new kid from georia is such a Jesus Whompper. He said Jesus loves everyone just before he laughed at the mentally challenged kids.
by carlitohasballs April 7, 2009
mugGet the Jesus Whomppermug.

Ruckus and Jesus

When your in the middle of fucking and realize that you are not holy and Jesus would not want you fucking for pleasure
Damn I was having the best sex of my life until I thought about Jesus. I guess I was hit with the Ruckus and Jesus
by Fidget spinner licker April 1, 2019
mugGet the Ruckus and Jesusmug.

Jesus in a wheelchair?

When about to hell JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!! out of rage but realizing you are surrounded by Bible beaters, and quickly changing it to something else as not to be forced to listen to eighty bible verses to compensate for you sins.
Gay 1 (During intense super smash brothers ultimate for nintendo switch match) "JESUS IN A WHEELCHAIR?!?!?'d be funny right?"

Gay 2 "I guess it'd be funny?"
by Archduke of Douchebags May 16, 2019
mugGet the Jesus in a wheelchair?mug.

Jesus Pimple

A Pimple which comes back a few days later after it is popped.
Dude, the pimple I popped three days ago has come back to life. Damn, Jesus Pimple.
by Jireh July 25, 2012
mugGet the Jesus Pimplemug.

finding jesus

A abosolutely hilarious ripoff of finding Nemo. just look at the damn front cover y'all.
AYO IS THAT FINDING JESUS?!
by G520 April 24, 2023
mugGet the finding jesusmug.

Jesus straps

"hook and loop" straps (note: the originals are known as "velcro")

these straps contain and manage cords, cables, ropes...e.t.c. , keeping them from catching on anything and everything,
or transforming themselves into a tangled mass! (or wrapping themselves around "the baby's" NECK !!)

the natural law is: when carrying ANYTHING (like a tv) the dangling cord will catch itself solidly on something, where one has to 'break stride' to get it free. this would NEVER happen in 5,000 tries at throwing the cord at the offending catch point! it ONLY catches when carrying something unsecured!
be right with you! , godda find a way to contain this cord! (response:) try this Jesus strap !

when setting up the PA, the previously attached Jesus straps saved my black ass !

what kind of idiot doesn't secure a cord ?? -Jesus straps your savior, infant!
by michael foolsley April 14, 2022
mugGet the Jesus strapsmug.

jesus lugo

My man Jesus Lugo is simply built differently. So it is justifiable as to why he went 140 on a school zone
by Luzzo October 18, 2020
mugGet the jesus lugomug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email