Jesus class 

A required class in catholic private schools, most often pertaining in some way to a god-and-man hybrid. Usually accompanies discrimination against women, other religions, homosexuals, etc. Generally the classes, intentionally or not, use inaccurate history and facts. Typically teachers are ignorant as to actual origins of feast days, traditions, holidays, and the like. Frequently denies scientific theories.

"Aly, why aren't you praying?"

"It's quite simple. Though your 'Jesus class' says otherwise, religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration--courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and, most of all, the truth."

Jesus class by Natsuki October 1, 2008

Jesus Tit Fuck 

Getting Tit Fucked and cumming on her chin giving her the grey beard of an old Jesus.

Man her rack is so firm I'd want to give her a Jesus Tit Fuck

Jesus Tit Fuck by The_Lion_Tamer July 12, 2011

Jesus fucking 

When you fuck so hard and fast that you die and then revive 3 days later, and then get sent up to god's bedroom to do the same thing there.

Person 1: where the hell am I?
God: in my bedroom
Person 1: how did I die?
God: Jesus fucking...
Person 1: what?! Why am I in your bedroom
God: cause someone who can Jesus fuck only appears every 2 thousand years, now get in bed...

Jesus fucking by A complete joke April 23, 2017

Jesus Cookie

A killer band duo consisting of two men (guitar, drums) who met in Basking Ridge, New Jersey during their sophomore year of high school. Name derived from the fact that both have the same first and middle names ("Jason" and "Charles," respectively). Notable performances include the Ridge High School Battle of the Bands '05 and other varied basement shows and gatherings. Irreverently referred to as "Jason Cookie" by some groups cautious to use the name of Jesus.

Recognized Hits:

1. "Todd" - JCP/JCS
2. "Elmo" - JCP/JCS
3. "Potato" - JCP/JCS

"YO!! Jesus Cookie rocked so hard last night that my face melted and I had to get reconstructive plastic surgery to look somewhat normal again!"

Jesus Cookie by Jason Charles Sobieski November 5, 2008

Jesus Christ 

A mythological creature to whom is attributed power to redeem man from eternal damnation as a consequence of sin. Born of man's need to believe in something, Christ is a useful tool for many things: keeping the gullible in line, raising money, imposing morals on others, justifying war, bloodshed, and terrorism, explaining away tragedies like childhood cancer and natural disaster, silencing dissent, and imposing guilt, are among the most popular miracles performed by Jesus.
Christ retains a strong following thousands of years after his invention, despite the advance of science, education, and technology in the years since.

Jesus Christ, almighty son of God, has all power in heaven and earth, except the power to grow a money tree.

Jesus Christ by runrobrun July 24, 2011

jesus on a stick day 

food friday (when jesus died)

happy jesus on a stick day!

jesus on a stick day by nothing_911 April 13, 2007

Jesus Shark 

A Jesus version of a shark. Jesus walks on water, Jesus Shark walks on land.

Jesus made alot of fish and bread. Jesus shark makes people and bread.

Jesus was a person. Jesus shark is a cartoon.

Jesus got respect. Jesus shark has no respect. "nyuk nyuk nyuk."

remind you of anything? jesus shark is the big talking shark from josie and the pussycats.

"oh man tedd, I saw the Jesus Shark walk by me at the super market."

OR

"jesus shark watches me in the corner of my room when I sleep. fuckin jesus shark"

Jesus Shark by ronnoc the axe January 13, 2009