Booth Bros, scientifically referred to as hyphasuburbium pompositis, are a type of white male between the ages of 35-45, measuring about 5’6”-5’8” in height and 150-190 lbs weight, commonly inhabiting Chicago suburbs. Their diet mostly consists of Michelin star meals and Wholefoods bought items. They originated during the covid times, when they experienced
mid-life crisis and went out looking for an expensive distraction i.e. an MBA from
Chicago Booth. Despite their origins in
Chicago-burbs, they are now also prevalent in suburbs of other major cities in the
United States.
Booth bros are characterized mainly by their unique suaveness, a combination of bro-
like behavior and
dad-
like humor, but can be noted by many other distinguishing features, such as:
1. Semi-formal or fancy-casual attire, with a focus on shoes
2.
Conservative, yet carefully maintained hair
3. Successful careers usually in business or finance
4. Whiskey/wine connoisseurs with inhumanly high alcohol tolerance
5. Obscure and dated pop-culture references
6. Sports enthusiasts, but only to watch on TV or their kids' sports teams; they also love control hence manage or participate in fake sports teams which they refer to as ‘fantasy sports’
Booth bros are extremely social by nature and often the loudest voices in any conversation. Some lesser obvious, and often overlooked, characteristics of this group is their universal generosity and sincere devotion to their mates and offspring.
- "Naah
man, he doesn't live downtown anymore. He moved to the suburbs and got Booth bro-ed."
-
Anthony: "Why are the Booth bros in the city today?"
Ana: "
Oh, they are just lunching at Alinea"
