two joints stoned

Two joints stoned is when you quite stoned but theres definitely room for more weed

Man 1: you look stoned
Man 2: ye man but im only two joints stoned
Man1 : well skin the fuck up man

I dont leave the house until im two joints stoned.

by frogpubes October 4, 2013

two dollar cop

A low-paid rent-a-cop with attitude. A thug cheaply employed as a private security guard who struts like a wannabe cop. A uniformed goon or dickhead with a badge.

Examples include: nightclub bouncers and public transport inspectors.

Just like items available from the Two Dollar Shop, the two dollar cop is easily paid for but badly put together and unsafe because it does not meet the normal quality assurance standards.

"I got abused and fined $167 by this Connex two dollar cop for having my foot on the seat, while a junkie was vomiting on the floor two seats away."

by gillfish March 16, 2009

Two-timer Catholic

Refers to catholics who attend church twice a year, on Christmas and Easter. May also be used to refer to other religions, but is most commonly used in reference to catholics.

The Christmas mass is always packed. All the two-timer catholics come back and take up the good seats.

by Fishmalk December 10, 2011

Two Thumbs Up

An unofficial honor given for excellence in any field. 'Two thumbs up' is/are not contained to any profession/achievement, and, therefore, can be awarded for any outstanding accomplishment.

When Ebert & Rober give a movie two thumbs up, does each of them contribute one thumb?

by Diggity Monkeez February 8, 2005

two dolla hoe

A wordhoe/word that costs two United States dollars a pop.

I fucked that two dolla hoe last night!

by |darc| December 8, 2002

Ticonderoga Two-Touch

(n) An aggressive maneuver, when one "drops" a pencil (preferably a Ticonderoga #2), begins to bend down to pick it up, but then double taps the nutsack of someone else with a quick one-two combination of slaps.

Mike enjoys the Old Kennedy Cock Punch, but I myself prefer the Ticonderoga Two-Touch.

by Ray Kinsella April 13, 2011

Two Pigs in a Blanket

When two homosexual men engage in the act of docking while simultaneously wrapping the saggy scrotum of a third homosexual man around the two docked and throbbing penises creating a biscuit shape representing two pigs in a blanket.

“Hey, did you hear Brad and Chad were engaged in their weekly docking when brad’s creepy uncle walked in and wrapped his saggy ball sack around their fully docked penises. He called it two pigs in a blanket.”

by Trpldckng October 26, 2018