two joints stoned

Two joints stoned is when you quite stoned but theres definitely room for more weed
Man 1: you look stoned
Man 2: ye man but im only two joints stoned
Man1 : well skin the fuck up man

I dont leave the house until im two joints stoned.
by frogpubes October 04, 2013
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two shots of vodka

this is an expression to cover up for the fact that you're an alcoholic and drink way too much so when people ask you how much you've had you just say two shots of vodka when you've really had the whole bottle.
Ive only had two shots of vodka.
by hecking cool person June 18, 2019
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Two-timer Catholic

Refers to catholics who attend church twice a year, on Christmas and Easter. May also be used to refer to other religions, but is most commonly used in reference to catholics.
The Christmas mass is always packed. All the two-timer catholics come back and take up the good seats.
by Fishmalk June 12, 2011
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two dollar cop

A low-paid rent-a-cop with attitude. A thug cheaply employed as a private security guard who struts like a wannabe cop. A uniformed goon or dickhead with a badge.

Examples include: nightclub bouncers and public transport inspectors.

Just like items available from the Two Dollar Shop, the two dollar cop is easily paid for but badly put together and unsafe because it does not meet the normal quality assurance standards.
"I got abused and fined $167 by this Connex two dollar cop for having my foot on the seat, while a junkie was vomiting on the floor two seats away."
by gillfish November 04, 2008
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Two Thumbs Up

An unofficial honor given for excellence in any field. 'Two thumbs up' is/are not contained to any profession/achievement, and, therefore, can be awarded for any outstanding accomplishment.
When Ebert & Rober give a movie two thumbs up, does each of them contribute one thumb?
by Diggity Monkeez February 09, 2005
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two dolla hoe

A wordhoe/word that costs two United States dollars a pop.
I fucked that two dolla hoe last night!
by |darc| December 08, 2002
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Ticonderoga Two-Touch

(n) An aggressive maneuver, when one "drops" a pencil (preferably a Ticonderoga #2), begins to bend down to pick it up, but then double taps the nutsack of someone else with a quick one-two combination of slaps.
Mike enjoys the Old Kennedy Cock Punch, but I myself prefer the Ticonderoga Two-Touch.
by Ray Kinsella March 28, 2011
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