Hand Blumpkin

The act of jerking off while taking a crap.
“Chick left me, and all I’m left with are hand blumpkins.”
by Witch_Devil May 11, 2023
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the Hand of Yeti

Combination of "handjob" and "Yeti" (Yeti is another name for the Abonimable Snowman who is an ape-like creature who is said to live in the mountains).

The Hand of Yeti is a handjob by someone with ice cold hands.

She gave me the Hand of Yeti. Brrr!
The Hand of Yeti causeth me to go brrrrrrr
by Ae5Ea8 July 05, 2016
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hand hammered

Being punched in the butthole.
Why are you walking funny Charline?
Last night I with Fred and got hand hammered, hard.
by screamingmeme32 November 02, 2014
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Vampire Hands

Hands that will not activate the motion sensing water faucet in a public restroom

i.e. invisible to mirrors or motion sensing devices
I can never get my hands clean at the restrooms in that Walmart - my vampire hands will not activate the water to come out of the faucet
by Jono523 August 20, 2013
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Orange-Handed

When you tell somebody not to eat your Cheetos but when you come back they have orange dust all over their fingers.
I told Jessica to not eat my cheetos but when I came back I caught her orange-handed.
by wolfiebean October 09, 2018
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Wizard Hands

Someone who is extremely good at hand jobs
by LukeDuffy111 March 02, 2017
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Hand tails

The MOST painful little flaps of skin that appear at the sides of your finger nails, with no reason or purpose!
aka Finger Flakes
'Ouch, My Hand Tails really hurt'
by Sity December 06, 2007
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