Covid-Breath

It's when you've been trying to sleep with solid-packed sinuses which necessitates you breathing through your mouth all night. After what seems like forever trying to survive all night long, propped up, breathing through your now dry-parched and sore mouth and throat, you get up with Covid-breath which is so bad it could strip the walls of wallpaper, stop a charging rhino in its tracks and back off a zombie in mid-stride. Covid-breath is soon relieved when your cold starts breaking up and you finally start hacking up egg-sized chunks of green phlegm.

"Ugh...I had to breath through my mouth all night..," you say to your spouse as she wakes up beside you.

"Ack!" she struggles to utter. "I can tell (hack, cough). Covid-breath! Back off you foul beast! Back off or I shall be forced to slay you!!!"

by Captain Loloch February 4, 2022

covid-19

one of the things god created for the netherworld, or hell. but it got mailed to earth and nearly wiped out humans, with quite a bit of their own faults.

Kate: God, I can't stay inside anymore, this pandemic is killing me.
Kathy: That is Covid-19.....

by umbrellafrog February 7, 2022

COVID

Media induced placebo amplification of the common cold supported with fake diagnostic tools called pcr and antigen tests.

I got COVID it was so bad. My friends dads friends brothers grand father died of COVID. I know someone who died of COVID.

by randomtruths February 9, 2022

COVID-19

an excuse by the government to rape and destroy the economy of the middle class

guy 1: "you know covid-19?"
guy 2: "oh yeah, i lost my business because of boris johnson"

by bigbigboy47 February 10, 2022

The Covid Test

It's a nasal sex position that's like face fucking, but for your nasal cavity and using your 8 inch covid stick of course. Not as deep as "the lobotomy" tho.

Nowhere near deep enough, but it's up there.

"Ugh it was damn near tickling my brain"
"Ah so you got the covid test too?"
"Yeah, I tried blowing my nose afterwards for relief but there was too much for regular tissues and I think some of it leaked down my throat."

"Wait...what???"

by Kitcattictac420 October 4, 2021

La Purga De COVID

The day after the company COVID vaccine mandates take effect and the company terminates everyone who has not provided their vaccine card.

My department lost 6 people during La Purga De COVID and now I have to work 2 hours of overtime every day. On the upside the office is much less divided.

by Rickapedia October 18, 2021

covid-brain

covid-brain - adjective - describing an altered state of mind due to covid-19 (coronavirus)

example in a sentence: 1 - "It was crazy, one second I was showing her my room, the next we were on the bed with our clothes off, honestly I think it was covid-brain." 2 - "My mom doesn't usually yell at me much but recently it feels like she has been yelling at me almost daily. I think I will give her the benefit of the doubt and chock it up to covid-brain."

by Phantom Phobia October 20, 2021