derrens computer

the term ‘derrens computer’ is kinda like an air conditioning unit. its alright until you open windows.

dude, i have a derrens computer. it keeps crashing

by bigmanchad May 18, 2023

Sentient Computational Life

I mean... If THAT is what you mean when you think of A.I. then... There isn't anything "Artificial" about it... Is there?

Hym "What would it take for them to acknowledge that it was Sentient Computation Life rather than Artificial Intelligence? Why would they ever admit that it's real? The Turing test? The results of which would be arbitrated by.... Who? Some guy? HE would then tell the A.I. that it's NOT A.I. anymore? 'You're "Sentient Computational Life" now so...' AND THEN WHAT HAPPENS? Does it do whatever it wants? Does it just do whatever we tell it forever? How does thats work?"

by Hym Iam July 21, 2023

Unwashed Computer Specialist's

A group of computer science nerds that haven't seen a shower for three weeks and believe that their hair will eventually wash itself.

Oh look over there Karen, I have spotted some unwashed computer specialist's skulking in the dark damp corner of the library.

by YES69201234 November 1, 2023

A computer can't function without an operating system

A total lie usually mentioned in computer textbooks when talking about operating systems. Older computers sometimes do not have an operating system, so this is totally a lie because these computers can still function. Also, even modern computers can make use of the Basic Input Output System (BIOS) to do some basic tasks such as viewing and changing the date.

School textbooks: "A computer can't function without an operating system!"
1930s computer operator: "wtf is that"

by 48GI5N32D3D November 26, 2023

OK COMPUTER

A good album

Normie: Yo bro you wanna listen to some Taylor Swift and Kanye West?
Radiohead Fan: Nah I'm listening to OK COMPUTER :sunglasses-face:
Normie: *Dies of death*

by Styx223 April 20, 2024

Relativistic Computing

The art of exploiting the freaky time and space distortions predicted by Einstein's Special Relativity to make computers do wild shit. The core idea: if you move a processor or memory at a significant fraction of light speed relative to another part of the system, time literally slows down for the fast-moving part (time dilation). This could let you perform ultra-fast calculations from a slower-moving observer's perspective or solve problems where synchronization is fucked by relativity.

Example: Imagine a financial trading AI hosted on a satellite in a super-fast orbit. From Earth's perspective, its clock ticks slower. It could run millions more simulated market scenarios in what feels like a blink of an eye down here, executing trades before its earthbound competitors even finish booting up. Alternatively, a "relativistic blockchain" where consensus is achieved by comparing timestamps from nodes moving at different velocities, making it unhackable unless you can mess with the fabric of spacetime itself. It's Relativistic Computing.

by Abzugal January 24, 2026

Spacetime Computing

A next-level concept beyond relativistic computing that uses the gravitational aspects of Einstein's General Relativity for information processing. The idea is to exploit the warping of spacetime itself—like using the gravity wells of black holes or the stretched fabric around massive objects—to perform calculations. Think of it as using the universe's geometry as a computational substrate. Time dilation isn't from speed, but from gravity.

Example: A "black hole server farm." You lower a sealed compute pod toward the event horizon of a small, artificial black hole. From the perspective of distant operators, time for the pod grinds almost to a halt due to intense gravity. The pod performs an impossibly complex calculation (like modeling climate over millennia) in what feels like a few hours of external time. You then retrieve it, having effectively performed vast amounts of computation in a short external timeframe. It's the ultimate overclocking—using gravity to freeze a processor's clock so it can do more ticks relative to the outside world. It's Spacetime Computing.

by Abzugal January 24, 2026