Goodwill Hands

The gross way your hands feel after you have been rummaging around in thrift stores.

"Hand me a moist towelette, I have Goodwill Hands."

by Swagatha Christie January 26, 2013

Hand dancing

A fast gesturing motion of rapid movement of the hand primarily for self gratification...more commonly known as masturbate

I like to hand dance when nobody's home.
That Hand dancing queef

by professional penis sneezer July 23, 2012

Sloppy Hand

When one ejaculates onto ones hand and slaps the girl/guy across the face with that hand after a blowjob. Done best when recipient does not know it is going to happen.

Vijay sloppy handed her so hard, she fell over.

by VTG September 2, 2012

Vampire Hands

Hands that will not activate the motion sensing water faucet in a public restroom

i.e. invisible to mirrors or motion sensing devices

I can never get my hands clean at the restrooms in that Walmart - my vampire hands will not activate the water to come out of the faucet

by Jono523 August 21, 2013

Hand Delivered

Ejaculation caused by stimulating the penis with ones own hand.

The lady wasn’t putting out last night so I hand delivered one myself.

by uniberg March 10, 2011

Hands on the bat

The opposite of Ski poles (one girl, two men- one on either side). Derived from playground baseball games when the captains put their hands on the bat to decide which team goes first. Many hands on one penis.

"I met these two tricks last night...took them back to my place and they put their hands on the bat"

by Señor_Cardgage October 24, 2011

Hand Blumpkin

The act of jerking off while taking a crap.

“Chick left me, and all I’m left with are hand blumpkins.”

by Witch_Devil May 11, 2023