Porcelain palsy

The temporary lack of sensation and occasional paralytic effect on the legs as a result of spending too much time on the toilet, usually due to spending a long time on social media or reading a good book.

I made the mistake of throwing down in a meme war on FB while in the bathroom.
After an hour or so, I couldn't stand up because I was a victim of the dreaded porcelain palsy.

by rev. ray July 30, 2016

Porcelain Drips

Taking a shit but only burning drops of liquid feces are expelled. They sting the sphincter so bad that you grab the handicap bars, grimace with pain, clench your teeth and wish someone would shove an ice cube up your ass just to cool it down. If you didn't know better, you'd think hot lava was pouring from your bung.

Carl partied all night and then made a trip to Taco Hell. He suffered the next morning with the porcelain drips.

by Eaton Holgoode March 1, 2017

Process Philosophy

A paradigm of linearity that connotes a sequence of dualities.

Implies that some dualities in the sequence are more important (meta-iterative) than other dualities in the sequence.

Stipulates that a violation of the sequence in certain instances (dualities) leads to a value more false than false: meta-false (cyclical-falsity).

Process philosophy (sequence) implies that linearity is actually cyclical.

by sandraxine July 20, 2018

Porcelain Lasagne

When one enters a public toilet to discover the previous occupant has decided it’s time for some Italian cuisine.

One must recognise when a poo has been left in a toilet, the next logical step is to create a porcelain lasagne.

Recipe:

Meat - Poo
Cheese - Smegma
Béchamel Sauce - Semen

Pasta Sheets - Bog roll

Prep time - User discrepancy

Serves - 4-6
Preheat your oven to 180° C
Reverse Kangaroo - recommended

Holy fuck, someone has started a porcelain lasagne in this toilet, see you soon boys, it’s time for the cheese layer.

by facelymilkington September 15, 2021

painting porcelain

the act of defecating on such a large scale that the interior of a normally white porcelain toilet bowl is rendered an entirely different color, typically brown

"Jim, where are you headed off to in such a hurry?"
"I don't think that oyster burrito agreed with me. I'm pretty sure it's gonna have me painting porcelain."

by triebkore March 16, 2012

Kidney Stone Software Development Process

The "Kidney Stone Software Development Process" is a degenerate process where releasing software to the field is incredibly painful but eventually "passes" and reaches customers. Developers within the process find that once the code portion of the project is complete, there are so many gates held by so many other internal groups that the software must first pass through, including peer review, quality assurance, documentation, not to mention possible conflicting schedules of other teams, product owners and managers, that the customers may not see the finished product for a long time. The process is akin to passing the proverbial kidney stone - incredibly painful, but eventually, it passes through.

We use the Kidney Stone Software Development Process at work; I'm still shepherding the finished code through multiple painful gates - who knows when this will actually ship.

by Spokko April 10, 2019

agile process

When all data center employees can not eat, sleep or work on anything else because their client is working with absolutely no plan, process or sanity

No, you do not understand what I am doing because I am working in an agile process instead of reality.

by agilekiller February 22, 2011