jesus

only way to heaven even if u dislike Him and this post
(probably because He stands for the truth and you dont)

Jesus is the judge! Have faith in His shed blood, so that you also have Him as the lawyer!

by HereComesDatSlav January 6, 2022

jesus

A guy who probably never existed. Had a miraculous life and miraculous events at his death which nobody ever noticed until they were written down 30-60 years after the events

jesus follower: My jesus is the best attested person in human history
historian : cite the historical sources
jesus follower: *runs the other way*

by Samuraigamer June 26, 2015

jesus

a.) a stoner, who is neither black, white, or asian, but all three.

b.) caroline.

girl: omfg, i hate her.

guy: stfu, it's jesus. roll her joint, you slut.

girl: FINE.

by dontdropit November 28, 2009

jesus

adj. Describing something REALLY awesome, like the namesake. If using the word is contrary to your religious beliefs, it is acceptable to use the Spanish pronunciation: "hay-soose."

"The Harry Potter series is so jesus."

"Barack Obama is so jesus."

"My hair is so jesus today."

by Hasotweb December 7, 2009

jesus

He protec. He attac. He multiply snak.

"Hey, do you think Jesus has anymore bread I could use?"
"No, but he make your water taps full of wine"

by DatBoiWhoHasNoLife June 12, 2018

Jesus

A pretty cool guy whose reputation has been run down by his horrible fan-club.

Used by the said fan-club as an excuse to do whatever they decide is “right.”

Dude: “Hey! What the hell are you doing to my car???”
Other dude: “Jesus’ will.”

by Shard February 28, 2005

Jesus

Jesus is a common male name for Hispanics. Jesus is the guy that will take your girl.

Aye Jesus isn't that Michaels girl??

by Bigdikboy March 13, 2017