jesus

The basketballer who takes all the game winning shots.

Ray Allen goes for the 3 and he got it. He has done that so many times, he is Jesus.

by anony23 April 30, 2009

jesus

only way to heaven even if u dislike Him and this post
(probably because He stands for the truth and you dont)

Jesus is the judge! Have faith in His shed blood, so that you also have Him as the lawyer!

by HereComesDatSlav January 06, 2022

jesus

A guy who probably never existed. Had a miraculous life and miraculous events at his death which nobody ever noticed until they were written down 30-60 years after the events

jesus follower: My jesus is the best attested person in human history
historian : cite the historical sources
jesus follower: *runs the other way*

by Samuraigamer June 19, 2015

jesus

a.) a stoner, who is neither black, white, or asian, but all three.

b.) caroline.

girl: omfg, i hate her.

guy: stfu, it's jesus. roll her joint, you slut.

girl: FINE.

by dontdropit April 02, 2009

jesus

adj. Describing something REALLY awesome, like the namesake. If using the word is contrary to your religious beliefs, it is acceptable to use the Spanish pronunciation: "hay-soose."

"The Harry Potter series is so jesus."

"Barack Obama is so jesus."

"My hair is so jesus today."

by Hasotweb December 07, 2009

jesus

He protec. He attac. He multiply snak.

"Hey, do you think Jesus has anymore bread I could use?"
"No, but he make your water taps full of wine"

by DatBoiWhoHasNoLife June 02, 2018

Jesus

A pretty cool guy whose reputation has been run down by his horrible fan-club.

Used by the said fan-club as an excuse to do whatever they decide is “right.”

Dude: “Hey! What the hell are you doing to my car???”
Other dude: “Jesus’ will.”

by Shard March 01, 2005