Wanking

A guy who says he showers for at least one hour and in that one hour he pleasures himself.

Yo, Vlad, have you been showering for one hour?
Srry, I was wanking!

by wanking December 9, 2016

fret wanking

2. when a guitarist plays an excessivly virtuoso solo which dominates (and often ruins) the song, or at least a hefty proportion of it.

Either derives from the same thing as the previous definition, or from the fact that the guitarist in question is playing their solo so vehemently that they seem to be in love with themselves, and so are receiving (metaphorical) sexual pleasure from playing it (as one does when wanking)

Same as other definition

by Sue Denim January 22, 2005

wanking jacket

A dressing gown, a bath robe. A garment one frequently pleasures oneself in after getting morning glory but before getting dressed.

Also, just as the Victorians would change into a 'smoking jacket' before enjoying a post-prandial cigar, in order that the smell of smoke clinging to their clothes did not later harm their chances of pulling the ladies, some contemporary gentlemen may prefer to change into their wanking jackets before bashing the bishop in order to prevent unsightly jizz stains from having much the same effect.

'I'd just had a particularly erotic dream about donkey punching Mariah Carey, so when I woke up with my usual morning wood, I had to crank one out straight away. However, as it was an unseasonally cold day, I thought I had better put on my wanking jacket first, so as to prevent myself catching a cold.

by Simon Dykes May 31, 2006

wanking pit

a wanking pit is bed/matress that sags in the middle, smells of man sweat, covered in stains and its secondry use is to be slept on

Ok mate, come round in 30 mins, i'm still in my wanking pit

by mr smith March 8, 2005

grinning like a wanking jap

over the moon,
ecstatic

by eck kes, you're manouvering has got me grinning like a wanking jap - kes

by mad dog February 26, 2004

Wanking off

1) masturbating
2) Being lazy.

1) Mom was horrified when she caught Jimmy wanking off to internet porn.
2) Would you quit wanking off and get back to work already?

by PapaPalpatine2008 May 15, 2015

wanking spanners

Hands contored by exsessive masturbation.
Hairy palms and sticky fingers

By 'ek look at the size of those wanking spanners

by Tight Trousers August 10, 2006