masturbation

The use of improvisational means to obtain sexual gratification in the absence of a partner.

Because the word "masturbation" sounds kind of boring, people have come up with an absurd amount of euphemisms for what is essentially sex without a partner.
I tried to look up "masturbation" on UD, but the constant use of euphemisms and the lack of a real definition drove me crazy.
by Anonymous debunker of myths October 16, 2009
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Masturbation

The act of pleasuring yourself. Self-sex, its like training for actual sex.Jacking off.

For a man stroking, rubbing, or even slapping the erect penis, for a women, rubbing the vagina with the two front fingers, or even lodging a penis shaped item such as a dildo in it.

There are terms such as;

Buff the Bananna
Spank the Frank
Stroke the one-eyed snake
beat the meat
Hold your sausage hostage
choke the chicken
Rub the Robin
Box the cock
Invade your pants with a five fingered army
Crank the Shank
Crown the King
Fondle the Fig
Jerk the Gerk
Tug the Tiger
Hand to Gland Combat.

As for women;

Vagina Dj
Taco Handshake
Play the Clitar
shuck the oyster
pressing the escape button
Tapping the keg
cleaning your fingers
the two finger tengo
ect
I just love the art of masturbation, it feels amzaing!
by The KockKing May 04, 2011
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masturbating

something that everyone has done or will do in the course of their lives, even if they keep denying it in front of their friends.
Scott: Joe, when you get home and watch that porn, and you are done masturbating, don't forget to wipe up the mess

Joe: I'm not gay, I don't do that

Scott: ummmmmmmm, sure you do, everyone does.
by My Name Is Hugh...Mungus July 12, 2009
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masturbation

To fuck oneself
me: Why don't you just go and fuck yourself?
boyfriend: *goes off to do some masturbation*
by Guinevere134 June 12, 2009
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Masturbation

Sex with someone I love.
- Woody Allen
Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.

Woody Allen in Annie Hall, 1977
by mandingoe November 07, 2005
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masturbating

when a person 'makes love' to themselves by gently stroking their genital area. done for pleasure. women- often involves stimulating the clitoris, and sometimes involves inserting a long hard object into the vagina. men- involves wanking, i.e. gripping the hand around the penis and vigorously moving it up and down. masturbation can end in the woman/man cumming. often can cause embarrassment and often taboo, especially as regards to women.
omg my mum totally walked in on me havin a wank, dude!
no way, dude!
way!
no way!
way! and she was like, samuel, we are going to have a serious talk about masturbating!!
by nipcharmedtuck June 07, 2006
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masturbate

One of the sexiest things that a man can possibly do.
Hot damn...there isn't much else I can say.
by raspberry (lust) muffin July 11, 2005
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