Constipation Stroke

When you try to shit but can’t so you make the effort worthwhile by giving yourself a good old fashioned wank and rubbing one out before flushing and hoping the turd will pass next attempt. If not, repeat.

I’m on my third constipation stroke today. If I don’t blow the other way soon I may have to resort to an enema.

Sometimes I think he eats a poor diet just for the ability to constipation stroke.

by Dick Onchin January 11, 2022

vehicular constipation

Anyone driving slower than you and refuses to move over to let you pass. Beware all station wagons. Or just anyone driving ridiculously slow. Beware handicap as well. I mean c'mon, you already had the accident.

vehicular constipation usually drive station wagons, or are handicapped, or foreigners, etc...

by b-tox May 17, 2012

Constipated wink

Rather than a suave or coy look while winking, you look like you're trying to take a dump instead.

Woman 1: ohh he is cute
(man constipated winks)
Woman 2: uhhh did he wink or shit his pants?

by djtimyd July 18, 2017

Emotional Constipation

its when u cant express your emotions like normal people because your emotions were oppressed by your own family/friends for a long time

A : u r so cute i love u

B : cry on emotional constipation

A :

B : haha me too

by sumn October 4, 2019

Sexually Constipated

The pain and sadness that results from not performing sexual acts.

" What's up with him?"
"Oh, He's just sexually constipated dude! His girlfriend won't give him any."

by Borta58 December 18, 2012

Sneeze Constipation

Successfully suppressing or delaying a sneeze so as not to interrupt a conversation, phone call, task or meeting, but feeling cheated because the sinus clearing gratification of a good sneeze never comes.

Jackson calls dawn
Dawn: Hi Jackson
Jackson: How was your day?
(pause)
Jackson: Dawn? ... Dawn You there?

Dawn: Whoa, no, I mean yes... I just stopped a sneeze cuz I couldn't hit the mute button soon enough. Damn, now I can't sneeze, it's like I have sneeze constipation!

by BrianRoxtar June 17, 2011

Relation Constipation

It's when your stuck in a really painful relationshit that just wont pass. The only cure is to let it go... or kill the bitch.

Mike: "I've had relation constipation ever since Cindy found out I fucked her sister. Do you think she's gonna dump me once she finds out I have herpes?"

Joe: "No man, you just have a case of the Mondays."

by Organized Chaos August 14, 2009