Calories

Tiny organisms that live in most people's closets and sew their cloths tighter every night

I have too many calories in my closet.

How come calories don't creep into your closet?

by Mrs. Teacher April 29, 2021

calories

tiny creatures that live in your closet and sow your clothes tighter and tighter every night

oh these calories are ruining all of my clothes!!

by anonymous April 29, 2022

Calories

Calories are the amount of energy released when your body breaks down (digests and absorbs) food.
The calorie is a unit of energy.

“Oh god!- I may or may not have had a bit too much calories..”

by Shaya October 25, 2022

Calories

Invisible food math

You: “Dude what are calories?”
Me (an educated guy): “Basically, it’s invisible food math.”

by Jjoshyy69420 March 12, 2023

calories

The energy that is in food or drinks.

"cant live with calories, cant live without calories."

by hgfhiohjrigoesra March 28, 2024

CalorieMaxxing

When your shirtless with your camera on while in a phone call with your friends eating really unhealthy food, generally a dessert or ice cream, and repeating the phrase “I’m CalorieMaxxing”, typically used as a method of Ragebait, but also can be used for non-ragebait purposes.

Dan kept CalorieMaxxing on call, so I muted him

I had annoyed John with my CalorieMaxxing so much that he hung up.

by Alactraz6 July 10, 2025

Empty Calories

A quarterback who puts up a lot of seemingly impressive stats, but rarely wins games, rendering his stats useless in the grand scheme of things.

Also applicable for stats put up when the team is down or up by a lot. AKA, not when a game is being determined.

Jay: I am so pumped for my team's new QB, we are going to air it out all season long.

Joel: Hmm, I don't know. All I see is a bunch of empty calories, he may be useless when it counts.

Jay: Ugh, he never wins big games, you are so right.

by Mike109999 March 21, 2022