Voodoo Math 

Also known as “Haiti Math”—voodoo is an unofficial religion practiced in Haiti. Math word problems that use zombies or monsters as their characters to teach dark problem solving.

An example of a grade two voodoo math question is: “The line graph shows the weekly number of zombies that were caught by the police during the six-week nationwide lockdown. Use the diagram to answer the following questions.

a) How many more zombies were caught in April than in May?
b) If the zombies were able to bite a victim before they were caught, what is the least number of zombie bites that took place during the entire lockdown?”

Voodoo Math by MathPlus May 12, 2021

Oil Math 

The math used by oil executives or anyone else to calculate the flow of oil or some other liquid from a well with full knowledge that the numbers mean nothing, because they really have no way of knowing the real answer.

Bill: Say Jim, how much water do you think is pouring out from that fire hydrant we just hit?
Jim: Well, to me it looks like about 45 gallons per second.
Bill: How can you tell?
Jim: Oil Math

Oil Math by lmc94 June 12, 2010

DEI Math 

Short for “Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Math.” Math products or services that right-wing math educators and MAGA parents have chastised for their “woke” content, and have called on their lawmakers to censor them from their states to protect the young minds from “foreign indoctrination.”

Some Singapore math publishers have apparently been warned by some white Taliban curriculum censors in some red states—they need to remove pages that promote multicultural or DEI math, such as depicting Chinese, Arabic, and Hindu numerals for the numbers one to nine, or stating that the theorem named after Pythagoras was known to Chinese and Egyptian mathematicians long before the Greek numerologist was born.

DEI Math by Fasters June 5, 2023

Sweating like a marine about to do a math test 

Sweating profusely either because of extreme heat, exercise or your under the pump (stressed to the eye balls).

Origins: Chris Mitchell, New Zealand Army (Rtd), proud to have served with many fine US Marines.

Fuck that was hard, I'm sweating like a marine about to do a math test.

Sweating like a marine about to do a math test by We are that RC brothers December 30, 2019

Fake Math Problems 

Unrealistic or nonsensical word or story problems, routine and nonroutine, that may or not be solvable—however, most of them serve to humorize, parodize, or satirize mathematics.

One question from “The Bigly Book of Fake Math Problems” is the following: “At a Trump rally, if 10 coronaviruses infect 10 diehard supporters in 10 minutes, how many of these foreign viruses will be needed to infect 100 supporters in 50 minutes?”

Fake Math Problems by MathPlus November 23, 2020

Otter Math 

When locals’ and aliens’ mixed attitude vis-à-vis otters and their apparently manageable growing population on the “fine” city of Singapore provides a fertile ground for math educators to pose a number of brain-unfriendly questions to challenge exam-smart symbol-minded students.

Two otter math questions from a Singapore math problem solving book are:
1. At a recent otter attack at a church’s fish pond, five koi fish were swallowed up, while the remaining partially eaten fish were left with one or two eyes. From the 17 koi fish in the pond, the verger found only 16 eyes. How many koi fish lost only one eye?
2. On average, what percentage of fish in a pond get eaten by an otter family every time they terrorize a condominium located in some posh area of Singapore?

Otter Math by MathPlus December 11, 2021

The Four “F” Words in Math 

FEAR of not understanding the new math concepts.

FRUSTRATION in struggling to make sense of the concepts.

FATIGUE from mental stress and emotional pain in grasping the concepts.

FAILURE in mastering and applying the concepts.

Winners have not only banned the four-letter F-word from their vocabulary when faced with the most disliked school subject, but they have also refused to let the four “F” words in math rent a space in their minds.

The Four “F” Words in Math by MathPlus January 8, 2018