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Text-jester

A reliable clown whose purpose is to provide routine amusement, distraction and entertainment via text.

A text-jester provides texts that may seem generally off the wall and may come out of nowhere - leading to an onslaught of texts back and forth between two or more parties as to who can out-jest the other.

Primary references include hillarious and random movie quotes, song lyrics, inside jokes and references strictly for your pleasure.
Derek had me cracking up last night! Out of nowhere I received a text last night that said 'I suck dick for money.'
It took me a second, but I responded with 'Two thousand dollars, you're that good.'
And he came back with, 'Best piece of ass in three states.'
He is one hell of a text jester!

OR:

I was sooo bored at work yesterday afternoon when I got a text from Text-Jester Taylor that said 'My bottom bitch got a little smart today. She probably won't be much for workin for a few days..'
I responded with 'Shiiit. That what the bitch gets! Learn her smart ass. She's the bottom bitch for a reason! Flip the mattress and turn her tricky ass out!'
by Fdurdad January 12, 2010
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oh jess

a phrase employed after an unfortunate occasion resulting from being under the influence of an intoxicating substance.
oh jess, not another run in with the police!
by UoRSALT November 22, 2010
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Related Words

cat jesus

Cat jesus is a god with the sexiest legs ever and visits earth in the form of a slab
Wow that slab is very cat jesus
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One Minute Jesus

A blow job in an elevator while going up.
She gave me a one minute Jesus between the 2nd and 5th floors.
by Exxxcel February 4, 2010
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Jesus Early

A time when it is so early that Jesus Christ would not be fully rested after sleeping.
See also: Jesus Hot, Jesus Cold, Jesus Lot, Jesus Sweet, Jesus Late, and Jesus Early
I had to get up Jesus Early for work the other day. I mean, I fell asleep and didn't even awake when my face landed in the deep frier. Someone had to pull me out.
by not_michael October 11, 2004
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Jesus himself

When an event or person is so godly or amazing that the only way it could be possible is if they are Jesus himself.
Dude that guy over there has picked up every girl all night..........without even talking to them!!!!!!??!!!!

-Jesus himself-

My friend robbed the biggest bank in the world using only a ballpoint pen!!!!

-Jesus himself-
by Zygorff October 20, 2009
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jesus retard

A person raised by bible thumping religious fanatics who is incapable of creating a complete sentence without using the words "jesus", "god", "sinner", "salvation," or "amen."

An unbalanced individual who speaks of jesus in such an intimate manner that it becomes uncomfortable to the point you want to vomit then they show you thier jesus tattoo.

A coworker who feels he is ordained by god to leave religious material in the bathrooms, lunchroom, the bulletin boards and your desk.

The cute girl at work that you at one time you briefly considered joining her church in hopes of banging her but decided it would be too wierd to hear her screaming for jesus while you do her. Whose desk looks like an altar and ends every sentence with the phrase "jesus loves you!"

The creepy neighbor who waits for you too come home every day so they can tell you they spent the day praying for your salvation and that your girlfriend is a wanton slut who sleeps in satan's bed.
Office worker 1: "Who put all the religious crap all over the bathroom?"
Office worker 2: "That's Justin's doing, the creepy guy from the mail room with the jesus tattoo."
Office worker 1: "I should kick his ass!"
Office worker 2: "It would not do any good, he would just ask god to forgive you, he's a jesus retard."
by jsd9632 October 20, 2012
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