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Text-jester 

A reliable clown whose purpose is to provide routine amusement, distraction and entertainment via text.

A text-jester provides texts that may seem generally off the wall and may come out of nowhere - leading to an onslaught of texts back and forth between two or more parties as to who can out-jest the other.

Primary references include hillarious and random movie quotes, song lyrics, inside jokes and references strictly for your pleasure.
Derek had me cracking up last night! Out of nowhere I received a text last night that said 'I suck dick for money.'
It took me a second, but I responded with 'Two thousand dollars, you're that good.'
And he came back with, 'Best piece of ass in three states.'
He is one hell of a text jester!

OR:

I was sooo bored at work yesterday afternoon when I got a text from Text-Jester Taylor that said 'My bottom bitch got a little smart today. She probably won't be much for workin for a few days..'
I responded with 'Shiiit. That what the bitch gets! Learn her smart ass. She's the bottom bitch for a reason! Flip the mattress and turn her tricky ass out!'
Text-jester by Fdurdad January 12, 2010
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Textpester 

Verb
1. To send persistent or sequential text messages to someone without waiting for a reply

2. To text conversations better suited to a verbal discussion

Textpesterer noun
Textpesteringing verb
Textpestered adj
Textpesteringly adv
My mom is textpestering me about my plans for the weekend.
Textpester by Garritty February 9, 2019

Eternity leave 

When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!

With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023
Word of the Day on July 23, 2026
The hypothetical man (often a sinister character who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.
Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.
jody by Sgt Apan March 31, 2006
Word of the Day on July 22, 2026

girl grip 

The ability girls and women have developed to hold several items at once in one hand. The skill has been developed due to the lack of pockets in women's clothing.
I thought she'd need multiple trips to carry her phone, keys, wallet, and Starbucks to her car since she needed the other hand to open the door, but she used her impressive girl grip to carry everything in one hand.
girl grip by SillyMilly33 July 31, 2023
Word of the Day on July 21, 2026

Condiment home

A term that refers to one persons household hold nothing but ingredients and condiments in the kitchen area
Person A: Hey dude you got some snacks?
Person B: Nah, i live in a fucking condiment home...
Word of the Day on July 20, 2026

bang a you-ee 

of Massachusetts orig. "to make a u-turn"
hey, we missed the bar, bang a you-ee
Word of the Day on July 19, 2026