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Jesus Christ

The protagonist in the best-selling fiction book of all time.

Spolier Alert: Jesus dies.

Also used as an exclamation of shock. It can be used with the conjuction of another word inserted between 'Jesus' and 'Christ'.
1) Reference to Bible

Pastor: So have you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour?
Jessica: Oh wait, you mean that dude with the beard who's the main character in that popular bullshit book where magic happens? That one? Nah... did you hear I'm officially atheist?

2) - Shock

Ally: Did you hear Dan got into jail?
Ben: Jesus Christ! How the hell'd that happen!?

3) In conjuction with another word.

Tom: So what answer did you get for 5c on the maths homework?
Olly: Jesus rollerblading Christ, I forgot we had homework!
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Lolita: So... when's your birthday again?
Beth: Jesus fucking Christ Lolita, how many times do I have to tell you?
by HelloWorld121 July 28, 2011
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Jesus hates you

1. a figure of speech meaning that you have bad luck

2. a possible death threat from a guy named Jesus

3. funny to say to a religious person
Person A: Geez man, that's some really bad luck. Shit... Jesus hates you!

Person B: Who's Jesus?

Person A: Not sure... it's just a figure of speech. I think it was the leader of some cult back in medieval times.
by Seal Clubbing Instructor April 4, 2010
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jesus fucks

"Already being late for work this morning, I encountered one of those jesus fucks and it stalled me an additional 5 minutes!"
by 8088Y80M8 January 1, 2012
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jesus freak

a person who seriously writes a definition with an overbearingly detailed explaination in here.
"I went to Bible camp every weekend this summer!"
"Beth, you're such a Jesus freak."
by Cmakkk October 19, 2007
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jesus christ

the first magician to go public with his tricks, but seeing as people back then were like really stupid they thought he was a god: idiots
dude lets go see jesus christ man hes gonna turn water into wine!
how the hell is he gunna do that?
dnt knw all i knw is we look away then we turn around nad yea man its changed its insane!
by jackass_12345 May 28, 2007
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Jesus

The man who works at the local car wash.
"Jesus, last time I got my car back I found a white stain in the back seat."
by Maggylyn April 22, 2007
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