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knotty branch

A turd that doesn't compel you to go, but is just too uncomfortable to hold. It requires an ample amount of push, and is formed with enough protuberances to appear, and feel, like you just shat out a tree branch with several knots in it.
I was in a lousy mood until I got rid of that knotty branch. I feel like a new man now...
by stall2 July 25, 2016
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ranch branch

Another word for dick. That’s all there is to it.
“Ayooooooo, lemme climb on that ranch branch.”
Fuck off, I’m a virgin!”
by Jerry skinner June 21, 2018
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Rubbermaid™ brand lie-detector

That huge gray plastic barrel at the curbside in which you mindlessly threw out the nice gift that the child down the street worked so hard to create for you. Said innocently-trusting youngster then happens upon said container before the trash-man has carted it away, of course his tenderly-impressionable eyeballs observe said callously-discarded gift, which of course painfully marks him for life and shows him what a shameless lying a**h**e you actually are to have praisingly told him how much you appreciated his gift and all the work he'd gone through to create it for you.
Here's how to avoid having your Rubbermaid™ brand lie-detector make mincemeat of your stellar reputation with the neighborhood children. First, be sure to prominently-display anything they give you --- such as paper-artwork or a clay sculpture --- inside the front room of your house for at least two or three weeks, so that if the young creators of said "masterpieces" happen over to visit, they will always have their happy pride of your appreciation re-affirmed by seeing their "treasured gifts" still visible for all to see. Then after maybe a month or so, try moving the exhibits further along down the wall or into another room, so that if a child happens to notice the absence of his creation in its "customary" spot, you can just hastily show him that you have merely moved it, but that you do indeed still have it on display. Then, if the youngster doesn't comment any more on the object's absence during subsequent visits or go to the other spot to look at it, you can safely assume that he has lost interest in said object, and so you can then put it away in a desk drawer or someplace else hidden, but where you can still hastily retrieve it again if necessary. Then if there is still no reference to said object within a couple more weeks, THEN AND ONLY THEN can you probably safely discard the item, BUT ONLY IN A MANNER THAT DOES NOT RISK THE CHILD'S SEEING IT... don't just toss it "openly" into a trash can where it can easily be seen by anyone just moseying by!
by QuacksO November 25, 2018
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North Branch Middle School

NBAMS is hell. It’s full of fake as hoes who want attention. Everyone’s a snake and all the guys are horny asf. The teachers say they care about our mental health as they hand out piles of homework. also, we minds as well be pigs by the way they feed us. most kids are suicidal, but that’s the school’s fault.
You know North Branch Middle School?” “Yea, it’s shit”
by cum in me daddy March 5, 2019
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The brand bandit!

The brand bandit is essentially the guy you takes your anal virginity in your sleep. Using his rush ability, he pounces on your ass from behind you, leaving you without the ability to walk for the next week!
Bake bliss - hey did you hear about that guy who took norbit melons anal virginity??

Messi Ferguson - wait are you talking about the brand bandit? He’s always using his rush ability!
Bake bliss - man that’s just the brand bandit!!
by Carrot pofter May 1, 2022
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off brand bitch

A generic ass bitch, not only can't afford to be the real thing, but doesn't have what it takes to be the real thing.
Get a load of this off brand bitch over here tryna be me
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