by vulture_queerearth87 May 22, 2019
Get the Christianity mug.Catchall term for wholesome kids who don some sort of subculture garb and slightly adopt an "alternative" lifestyle (skater gear, punk-ish music) in order to win over new recruits to Christianity.
by Squeentips June 14, 2009
Get the skateboard Christian mug.Related Words
Someone who dresses in hip clothes and goes undercover to college parties, concerts, stoner smoke sesssions and bars to tell you how
totally radical, relatable, and real Jesus is with their modern psuedo-hip spin on the religion. "Christianity is not a religion bro, it's totally a
rebellious way of life bro, it's totally gnar!"
They are there to fill their conversion quota for the month and aren't there to party. They have been known to be good looking people,
only the few are chosen for these missions, skilled rappers and dance moves like no other so as to draw in an audience wherein they can discuss the good book with the heathens. It can be hard to recognize them; but if you find yourself talking to one very sexy hipster chick at a party named sunshine(or some shit like that) with a booty like two apples rubbing against each other under yoga pants and light green eyes under glasses, who starts asking if you've heard about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ..well then you might have found a commercial christian. She has no intentions of bumping uglies with you. The only guy she's interested in, is Jesus, she will break your tiny heathen heart into little ungodly pieces.
The best way to detect a commercial christian is to offer them alcohol and drugs. Most will be instructed by their church/boss to refuse such things. If they accept it, get them shitfaced. Be cautious, theyre persuasive and have trained long and hard to use Jedi-Jesus mind tricks on your brain.
totally radical, relatable, and real Jesus is with their modern psuedo-hip spin on the religion. "Christianity is not a religion bro, it's totally a
rebellious way of life bro, it's totally gnar!"
They are there to fill their conversion quota for the month and aren't there to party. They have been known to be good looking people,
only the few are chosen for these missions, skilled rappers and dance moves like no other so as to draw in an audience wherein they can discuss the good book with the heathens. It can be hard to recognize them; but if you find yourself talking to one very sexy hipster chick at a party named sunshine(or some shit like that) with a booty like two apples rubbing against each other under yoga pants and light green eyes under glasses, who starts asking if you've heard about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ..well then you might have found a commercial christian. She has no intentions of bumping uglies with you. The only guy she's interested in, is Jesus, she will break your tiny heathen heart into little ungodly pieces.
The best way to detect a commercial christian is to offer them alcohol and drugs. Most will be instructed by their church/boss to refuse such things. If they accept it, get them shitfaced. Be cautious, theyre persuasive and have trained long and hard to use Jedi-Jesus mind tricks on your brain.
dude 1:Hey brohan! Who was that dude you were talkin to? I wish I had fashion sense like him, straight outta GQ bro.
dude 2: Oh just some commercial christian, we took shots and he told me dinosaurs weren't real.
dude 3: Sup guys.. I just met this bomb ass chick named rainbow, I think if I go christian I might have a chance
dude 2: Oh just some commercial christian, we took shots and he told me dinosaurs weren't real.
dude 3: Sup guys.. I just met this bomb ass chick named rainbow, I think if I go christian I might have a chance
by MyDanceMoovez10 January 2, 2014
Get the Commercial Christian mug.A great religion that is either misunderstood by ignorant morons or maligned by malevolent assholes.Sometimes a combination of both.Sometimes in the 'guise' of a believer.
Christianity has been much maligned unfairly ever since those Enlightenment assholes who weren't any better than those Dark Ages assholes.Infact they're the same assholes.
by JESUS IS THE MESSIAH September 17, 2006
Get the Christianity mug.1. A religion with both teachings of good and evil, yet has been responsible for the majority of the world's evil in the past 2,000 years.
2. A religion whose followers refuse to practice what Jesus Christ teaches.
3. A fairy tale, contradictory in and of itself, written in four contradictory plagiarized versions, of a peasant born to a "virgin" woman who cheated on her fiancé with a deity, was raised by her and a carpenter, grew up to be a magic teacher who did magic acts, died on a cross as a scapegoat for nothing he had done wrong, and rose from the dead as if nothing ever happened.
4. The belief that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. Makes perfect sense.
2. A religion whose followers refuse to practice what Jesus Christ teaches.
3. A fairy tale, contradictory in and of itself, written in four contradictory plagiarized versions, of a peasant born to a "virgin" woman who cheated on her fiancé with a deity, was raised by her and a carpenter, grew up to be a magic teacher who did magic acts, died on a cross as a scapegoat for nothing he had done wrong, and rose from the dead as if nothing ever happened.
4. The belief that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. Makes perfect sense.
1. Christianity may have been a good religion to begin with, but was perverted by many of its followers when they committed various acts of stupidity and evil.
2. Many Christians today are hypocrites.
3. The Biblical stories, especially Christianity, will one day be sorted into the mythology section along with the ancient Roman and Greek myths, and maybe along with the fairy tale sections.
4. Christianity sounds like a stupid religion if you summarize it like that.
2. Many Christians today are hypocrites.
3. The Biblical stories, especially Christianity, will one day be sorted into the mythology section along with the ancient Roman and Greek myths, and maybe along with the fairy tale sections.
4. Christianity sounds like a stupid religion if you summarize it like that.
by Kiss My Ass, Religion June 14, 2010
Get the Christianity mug.an oxymoronic religon stating that there is a forgiving god, so its followers have to be unforgiving to people of other religons because the know that their god won't.
by Mediaptera September 17, 2006
Get the Christianity mug.by Colaws February 27, 2015
Get the Christian mug.