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Squoncher

When an animal had a very squishy and squishable face
Wow look at that golden retriever hes a squoncher!”
by DaniDeVito November 2, 2023
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squanching gooner

someone who is addicted to masturbating to underage girls instagram posts while in the process of hanging themselves
Did you hear Alex is a squanching gooner?
by Gooning Enjoyer December 26, 2023
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Squatched

An all encompassing, swiss army knife verb. Synonymous with Smurfing, only nastier.
Brian really squatched up the canoe trip when he mixed up the dates.

Brian finally squatched that broad with the tattoos and the big tits from the bar last night.

Brian squatched a 2-4 of tequila, 6 grams of shrooms, and a couple rock star rails on Sunday. Then he squatched like nobody's business.
by Zanninu April 15, 2024
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squanchmaxxing

Becoming a God and maxxing out ones abilities in the act of masturbation while hanging oneself.
Example 1.
"Hey dude, did you hear that Name died while squanching??"
"Yeah man! I heard he was squanchmaxxing so he could show off and rizz his Discord E-Kittens"

Example 2.
To get better at squanching, you need to devote yourself to squanchmaxxing so you can become a God.
by squidelish June 16, 2024
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squoochee

(v.) same as douche (the verb). it's ass-cleaning :) often with water!
"Felching session canceled because he don't wanna squoochee."
"Girl, ew... Get back on Grindr and find a new fling...."
by 4n41b34d51uv3r2004 February 23, 2025
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squoochee

kind of like douche-ing your anus but with a little nice and sparkly iykwim. makes a "squooooooch" sound and the -ee is from the air flowing out
a: "coca cola or pepsi?"
b: "ah i'd like some pepsi"
b: "are you just gonna stand there and hold that bottle?"
b: "that's a weird looking cup"
b: "oh my god are you squoocheeing. im leaving i dont like this"
by stdsoundsystem April 22, 2025
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Sqwancher

/ˈskwɒn.tʃər/ noun
(derived from French, also verb: sqwanch /skwɒntʃ/; adj.: sqwanchy /ˈskwɒn.tʃi/)

Definition:

(v., trans.) To sqwanch: The act of gently compressing a banana between both hands to achieve optimal sweetness and texture, often culminating in a clean lengthwise rupture of the peel revealing the fruit’s ideal consistency.

(n.) A person who practices the delicate and precise act of pressing a banana between both hands to soften its interior and increase its natural sucrosity; a practitioner of banana enhancement through tactile pressure.

(adj.) Sqwanchy: Descriptive of a banana that has been properly softened through skilled pressure and has achieved an ideal level of sweetness and yield.

Usage Notes:
The technique of sqwanching requires an intricate understanding of banana ripeness, peel integrity, and pressure modulation. Too much force results in over-mush; too little, and the desired transformation fails. Expert banana sqwanchers often keep pressure diaries and refer to a flavor-pressure index known in some circles as the "SQR Scale."

Cultural Note:
The rise of banana sqwanchers as a global subculture began in the early 2020s. Often gathering in farmer’s markets, botanical gardens, or high-altitude fruit labs, these enthusiasts study pressure dynamics, flavor changes, and develop philosophical debates on the ethics of premature sqwanching.
"During his doctoral research on tactile-fructose modulation, Dr. Elkins discovered that a banana’s sugar profile could be influenced up to 12% through optimal controlled sqwanch."

"I tried to sqwanch my breakfast banana on the subway, but I underestimated the squeeze zone and ended up with a potassium crime scene."

"Only at the Midnight Fruit Society would one find a candlelit sqwanching ceremony, led by robe-clad enthusiasts chanting the peel-pressure psalms."

"The 2024 World Sqwanch-Off in Kyoto crowned a new champion after she achieved a record-breaking peel split with only 0.3 PSI variance."

"Les nutritionnistes alternatifs recommandent désormais de sqwancher les bananes mûres pour en libérer tout le potentiel aromatique, à condition de maîtriser la pression longitudinale."
by valzerchikito May 5, 2025
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