Skip to main content

optimistic dab

When a male urinates, then proceeds to dab the tip of his penis with a single square of toilet paper or something akin to a baby-wipe.

This ritual is a crude, but slightly considerate, attempt at hygiene when the male is optimistic about receiving fellatio in the near future. Usually occurs when sex appears imminent but the male must excuse himself in order to urinate.

The optimistic dab, while very similar to a full solar-eclipse in the fact that it is rarely seen, only becomes in evident in one of two common situations:

1. The male and his sexual partner reside in the same residence and the aforementioned male fails to know properly operate the bathroom door while urinating

2. When the male is beginning to receive fellatio and the female, while flicking her tongue across the head of his penis, realizes her partner's cock tastes like a wet-nap one receives in a BBQ restaurant. Thanks.
"Why are you wiping instead of shaking? Oh. Wait. Is that an optimistic dab? How cute."

Alternatively,

"Darling, your cock tastes like soap. Mind using something other than a wet-nap next time you do an optimistic dab?"
by twittish July 10, 2009
mugGet the optimistic dab mug.

optimisery

noun. 1. sadness at the loss of a dream, falling to the depths of despair after having high hopes. 2. the cognitive dissonance of beautiful melancholy, whereby one feels deep pain and also harbors hope for the attainment of their, so far, thwarted goals. 3. state of an optimist when faced with soul-crushing rejection.
Her unrequited love has left her in a state of ultimate optimisery.
by CodeNameReservoir February 9, 2018
mugGet the optimisery mug.

Optimiscuous

Adjective Very hopeful of one's chances of getting laid; Optimistic and promiscuous.
"Randy must be feeling optimiscuous tonight if he's putting on his Sex Panther cologne before clubbing."
by Tard Ferguson July 1, 2019
mugGet the Optimiscuous mug.

optimista

is an outlook on life with a Latin twist. One maintains a view of the world as a positive place.

Opposite:
Pessimista
Tia was being optimista that she would find the perfect dress for her sister's wedding
by Tia&Chele April 22, 2008
mugGet the optimista mug.

Optimist

A kind of person who is most often a closet pessimist, and much like a pessimist can not see the virtue or value in any bad experiences. However, unlike a pessimist, who copes with that view by adopting the deluded, jaded notion that everything that can go wrong will go wrong so they aren't disappointed, the optimist follows the even more deluded notion that they will simply never have bad experiences.
Optimist: There's no way we're going to lose!
Pessimist: There's no way we will win...let's just quit while we're ahead...
Realist: I would honestly prefer to win, but it's also no biggie if we lose. Live and learn, right?
Optimist and Pessimist: ...Get out.
by BovineButthole October 19, 2017
mugGet the Optimist mug.

Cynically optimistic

When you're really negative about something you're actually looking forward to.
Marriage is the biggest mistake I can't wait to make. It's the only thing I've ever been cynically optimistic about.
by Sanityfan November 29, 2015
mugGet the Cynically optimistic mug.

Optijism

A persistent belief that one is likely to get laid.
Given how few women were at the party, it was a exercise in optijism for Dick to think he would get lucky.
by TucsonTiger123 July 17, 2009
mugGet the Optijism mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email