Disciplinary Hearing 

Something you'll be called to at some point during your working life.

It'll be sold to you as an opportunity to state your case, but in reality the outcome will have been decided weeks before you go to the meeting.

You are strongly advised to take appropriate action and treat the hearing with the scorn and derision it deserves.

HR Manager:

We investegated our concerns that you'd been sleeping with our new secretary in the stationery cupboard and found grounds to convene a disciplinary hearing. Do you have anything to say?

Employee:

Man, she was a Brett Hart - the best there was, the best there is and the best there ever will be.

HR Manager:

I don't think you realise the seriousness of the allegations against you. I'd suggest you reconsider your comments.

Employee:

Do you think there's enough room to fit a four poster bed in there?

The floor's uncomfortable.

HR Manager escorts employee off the premises.

Manager:

Do you think he knew he was screwed before the meeting?

HR Manager:

Sounds like he was well screwed. That secretary looks like a dirty slut. I'm already looking forward to 'discipling' her.

Disciplinary Hearing by HR_Advisory March 22, 2011

dick dry heaving 

When you cum so many times your dick has no more semen to release.

Ima make you cum so much I'll leave your dick dry heaving.

dick dry heaving by Trashley Z. September 30, 2013

Turtle Heading 

When shit starts playing Peek-a-Boo with your butthole.

Bro we really need to find a shitter! I've been Turtle Heading for the last 20 minutes! If I don't get there soon Mr. Hankey is gonna come visit.

Turtle Heading by RoyalTokes July 7, 2018

turtle-heading 

(verb – present participle) The act of experiencing the summit of a crusty turd protruding from your sphincter (a turtle head); to really need a crap

Onlooker: "Why are you walking so strangely?"
Protagonist: "I'm turtle-heading, if I don't find a toilet soon I'm going to purge all over my pants."

turtle-heading by Don de Mookster March 4, 2009

Bad hearing 

Something a Ms Eminem Bumshit has.

*bell rings*
Eminem: When is the bell going to ring?
Person: Didn’t you hear is ring?
Eminem: I know, I can’t believe it is spring.
People: She has bad hearing

Bad hearing by Hehwe September 7, 2023

hearings 

it is a kind of meeting, organized by the government before making a decision.In general, some related public are informed to attend the hearings to discuss the affairs and provide their suggestions. and after the hearings, the authority make a decision.

for example,if the goverment decide to raise the price of the taxi, it is essential to hold hearings.

hearings by netfree August 26, 2006

selective hearing 

one posseses this quality when they hear only what they would like to hear.

"Jimmy, do the laundry and the you can go to the movies."

"Sweet! I can go to the movies!"

"AFTER YOU DO THE LAUNDRY!"

"What? You never said i had to do the laundry."

"I swear, you have selective hearing"

selective hearing by amrgkm January 29, 2009