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Weekly World News

The funniest newspaper ever. Sure, the stories are a bunch of bullshit but it's so funny.
I love reading Weekly World News!
by Anonymous June 24, 2003
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Talon News

A paid propaganda wing of the Republican party that used a plant in the White House press briefing.

Further proof that the Republicans are doing such a bad job that they need shills - unpaid and otherwise - to sugar coat everything monkey boy Bush and his minions do.
James Dale Guckert, who went by the name Jeff Gannon, was the reason Talon News was exposed. People finally figured out that he was there to make Bush look good. Guckert also has the distinction of being a male prostitute who advertised him self on gay male escort service sites.
by jesster79 March 13, 2005
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Related Words

News Asiant

A News Agent owned and operated by Asian's. Generally Chinese, Vietnamese or Korean but not Japanese. Historically the Japanese are terrified of news agencies.
Hey Dude, I'm going down to the news asiant, you want a magazine or some spring rolls?
by Sinor skeezioli December 16, 2013
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newsance

The first person you hear from whenever an important news story breaks. Having idolized news anchors like Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper, the newsance relishes every opportunity to experience the awesome wave of self-congratulatory importance that derives from delivering a novel news story. The newsance recognizes this as a cause greater than oneself and, as such, will go to great lengths to inform every last one of his/her friends about a breaking news story--at any time of day and by any means necessary.
*Phone rings at 3 a.m.*

John: What in the hell... *yawn*... who's calling so late?!
Phyllis: John! My goodness, have you heard? HAVE YOU HEARD?! Oprah just announced she's quitting her show! 25 YEARS!
John: Uh... gah, is this Phyllis again? Do you really have to call so late?
Phyllis: It's Oprah! This is, like, a historic moment! I just couldn't bear the thought of you waking up to it in the morning, having to deal with it all alone.
John: Listen, Phyllis, I know I've always called you my friend, but no longer. *hangs up*
John's wife: Phyllis, right? Jeez, she's a real newsance.
by sevenup7 December 16, 2009
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the news of the world

Weekly rag which is famous for trying to ruin the lives of decent people, in a bid to boost their sales. Best known for printing lies and being succesfully sued for hundreds of thousands of pounds by the persons whose reputations they attempt to besmirch. MP Tommy Sheridan and footballer Ashley Cole for example.

Despite being a British tabloid they held the safety of British Troops in utter contempt by printing pictures of British soldiers beating up a few rioting iraqi youths who were throwing bricks at them. The pictures fuelled the iraqis anger which led to more attacks on UK soldiers.
The news of the world editor: Whose lifes can we fuck up this week then?

The news of the world journalist: Lets flip a coin, if it's heads we'll target a footballer, if it's tails we'll target an MP.

The news of the world editor: Good idea.
by Dundeeboy August 5, 2006
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Old news

Piss the other party off, by saying "Old news".
People saying "Old news" refer to the fact that they already know what you were trying to tell them.

Originated by Vexiant.
Guy 1: Yo.. check this out (sending a link)
Guy 2: Old news, bro.
Guy 1: Ahh... Fuck you!
by Vexiant March 10, 2012
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bad news

I'M AFRAID I'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS! *bangs gavel on podium.
by proudtobeanamerican August 22, 2014
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