Mattress Jousting

Yes, it is a game played in college frat parties but has nothing to do with actual jousting. It is the act of two male parteners who are clearly intoxicated partaking in the act of sword fighting (this is where the jousting comes from) with their wangs on a bed (mattress).

It is commonly used as a joke to people who are clearly uninformed about the slang term.

Frat boy: Hey, Jason, do you want to go mattress jousting later on tonight?
Jason: No, I'm not gay
Frat Boy: I am

John's Older Brother: Hey John have you ever gone mattress jousting?
John trying to be cool: Yeah me and steve mattress joust all the time its fun as hell
Steve: I always win
(Arguing over who wins when both are now labeled queers
John's older brother: Wow?

by ogwannabee July 27, 2009

mattress mommy

Similar to a pillow princess. It makes her lover/baby happy to please his/her mommy with out need for reciprocity. Often with lots of instruction and rewards like with a dom/sub relationship.

I love to make my mattress mommy happy.

by synsmommy March 16, 2015

mattress music

Mattress Music is Sex/Sexy Music.. Sexy Music you listen/dance too.

Mattress music is Jeremih: Birthday Sex

by _Tookié_ May 5, 2016

mattress music

Mattress Music is music you have sex or dance to.

Mattress Music is Jeremih birthday sex or Bedrock.

by _Tookié_ May 5, 2016

mattress lap

An bountifully haired pubic region, usually on a female, with the appearance of a part stuffed mattress.

Uncommon due to the exponential growth of styled pubic depilation amongst the teen and twenty something demographic.

Wow look at that!!

Ya think it's a merkin?

Mebbe, but it is a she is a true Mattress Lap

by Townsman July 28, 2016

mattress folder

When they fuck you so good you grab onto the mattress and bend it...in a sense folding it

Bro my girl is so good in bed. Really mattress folder good?? Hell Ya she is a mattress folder.

by shyvanismommy July 3, 2016

Mattress Monster

A Mattress Monster is a fat and or butt ugly broad who likes rough and dirty sex and is likely to be infected with multiple varieties of crotch rot.

Dude 1: "Hey man, that broad's hot. I'd do her so hard her grandmother would cum!"
Dude 2: "Oh man! That's sick, you couldn't pay me to stick my dick in that fucking mattress monster. She looks like the love child of Roseanne Barr and Caitlyn Jenner!

by Nubian_Mattress_Monster July 15, 2016