turtle-loafer

1)Someone who get sexual pleasure from imagining a turtle.

Girl-come on Johnny, how do I get you turned on?
Johnny-I don't know
Girl-well I'm gonna go feed my turtle
Johnny-IT'S HAPPENING!!!! *fap fap fap fap* turtles.........it's the turtles!!!!!! They're so wrinkly and slow!!! It gets me hot!!!! OMG! I think I'm a turtle-loafer!!!
Girl-I'm glad to her that! Because I have a thing for slow wrinkly things too!

by Z4zebra July 23, 2012

turtle in the water

1. A milf, a code word to say to your bros when in public.

Bro, "Holy shit, turtle in the water 3 o'clock."
Public, "where the fuck is the turtle?"
Bros,"they don't even get it! That was a fucking milf!"

by Young Musky November 17, 2013

turtle surprise

When during a rim job, the rimee squeezes some amount of turd out, either voluntarily or involuntarily, and poop ends up on or in the rimmer's mouth.

"I wasn't feeling well, but he insisted on rimming me. I ended up giving him a turtle surprise."

by grubblerfubbler February 5, 2014

turddler

A toddler who is acting like a turd.
One who acts like a turd and also acts like a toddler.

Addison is such a turddler! She is putting her dinner in her diaper!

by jday73 August 26, 2014

Turtle Date

Turtlenecks and Sex.

-Not recommended.

"What's a Turtle Date?" "Seriously, just don't do it."

by Tittlator. September 24, 2014

Tardle

1. (Noun) A spirit animal that is a mix between a turtle and a yard
2(adjective) A face made where you give yourself about ninety chins and stick your tongue out.

Hey man, lookit that guy over there channeling his inner tardle. Good for him

by Sammyslammajamma February 15, 2015

turtle farmer

The individual responsible for extracting the boofed object; a correctional officer

Upon arriving to the correctional facility for a conjugal visit , I was subjected to a cavity search by a turtle farmer.

by Kattpisseverdeen March 5, 2015