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Commuter’s Blumpkin

Receiving a blowjob while actively pooping your pants behind the wheel.
She started going down on me, and I shit my pants halfway through — full Commuter’s Blumpkin.
by Mikey1965 May 31, 2025
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New Jersey Blumpkin Patch

When a person giving an upper deckie is receiving a blumpkin from another person taking a shit in the toilet.
Person 1: what you get up to last night?

Person 2: I walked in on Erik and Walter doing a New Jersey Blumpkin Patch in the upstairs bathroom at work.

Person 1: Not a NJBP!! That shit crazy!!!
by LazerCat July 17, 2025
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Alpha Zombie Blumpkin

A blumpkin that is given and or received from a very large and hairy man with three legs that looks like the Alpha Zombie from the 2024 film: 28 Years Later
Friend 1: Yo I got a blumpkin from that dude down the street, fucker was the hairiest dude I've ever seen.
Friend 2: Oh yeah that's... great dude.
Friend 1: It was like getting a blumpkin from the Alpha Zombie from 28 Years later, like an Alpha Zombie Blumpkin!
Friend 2: Yeah genuinely stay the fuck away from me and my family.
by FroggerTheRIbbit October 19, 2025
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Fifi Blucus Blumpkin

A twist on the traditional blumpkin, the user replaces a women with his fifi in order to stimulate himself while shitting, and continuously edges until his balls turn blue. At the end, as he is about to bust, he screams Blucus!! and explodes.
It's been a rough day of spartan training, I think I'll give myself a fifi blucus blumpkin.
by Fragrance Fag January 9, 2026
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This requires 3 people. The first person is laying on the floor of a porta potty with porta potty juices in their mouth. The second person poops in the first person's mouth while receiving a blowjob from the third person. The poop splashes on the first persons face. The third person also pukes on the second person's penis. Either the second or third person smears the poop on the first person's face like football facepaint.
"Babe you want a Super Duper Mega Bowl Volcano Blue Bearded Blumpkin with my brother?"

"Yes!"
by SkibidiLomas May 1, 2024
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