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Bakersfield

A mysterious anomaly located in Kern County, California and the California's central valley.

In 2013, Bakersfield topped the list of every other single city in America with a population of over 250,000 people (even Miami and Boston) as being "America's Drunkest City".

Drivers here do what they want (cutting all 4 lanes on the freeway without looking, not bothering to replace their burnt-out brake lights, NEVER touching the turn signal, etc.), and road rage is rampant here.

A few streets are named after county music artists (Merle Haggard, Buck Owens), and Bakersfield is home to the Crystal Palace country music hall. Often called "California's country music capital," everyone here listens to country music. A subgenre of country music came about in 1950s Bakersfield called the "Bakersfield sound."

The neighborhoods here are basically 1) Rosedale - in the northwest and, 2) the ghetto - everywhere else. The east is perhaps the most dangerous, and Oildale is very close. Southwest Bakersfield used to be the shit, but has turned to just shit. A storm of people flew into Kern County from Los Angeles in the wake of the housing market crash, and brought a lot of the ghetto culture with it.

Despite all of this, I love it here. You will find that so many of us are weirdly prideful of the hillbilly cow town we live in. Out of all the big cities in the central valley, Fresno, Stockton, and Sacramento are a lot worse.
Bakersfield. At least it's not Stockton!
by i want mints November 20, 2013
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Bake

Often used in sports; makin the other team look bad by kickin their asses in a game.
Those bitches was WHACK
Yeah...we baked em
by Nostone November 3, 2005
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bakers oven

A really wicked yeast infection that skanks get, smells like a dead Tuna sodomized a dumpster in a black neighborhood. (Mid-evil Canadian)
Local creep Andrew looked for his next "trick" while driving down the busy street, he found disappointment after learning Trixy had a bad case of bakers oven.
by J & K Slander Inc. February 7, 2005
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bake fail

A bake sale that failed- no one bought any of the baked goods and little to no money was made
Person #1: You actually bought something from the bake sale?
Person #2: Yeah, without me it would've been a total bake fail.
by Kayleigh Voss March 14, 2009
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Bakedism

The state of mind that causes you to lose all motivation whatsoever.Usually caused by smoking mass quantity of marijuana. Best observed when sharing with friends.
whoa... i think i've reached my bakedism.
by ms420 July 11, 2009
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Baked Pie

A "baked pie" is a euphemism for a girl providing a guy with surprise sex.
"So last night at hers, she totally prepared me a Baked Pie!"
by dtron_52 November 17, 2013
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fair baked

when you are being affected by drugs such as marijuana, alcohol, or adrian reinboth
X: oh man we got fair baked last night
Y: yea well SO DID YA MUM with me in the caravan while she baked me some cookies!
X: ...AH YEAH
by benjamima hudson July 27, 2006
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