Cat Distribution System

The system that gives out cats.

P1: Hey, there's so many cats following me around!
P2: That's because you got chosen by the Cat Distribution System.
P1: That would be nice but actually, I stole their food.

by BehindTheSlaughter January 28, 2024

You Jack System

Also known as the “Fuck You Jack System” where a person leaves behind a mess, does a half arsed job or just blatantly doesn’t give a fuck because they don’t care about the state of the job, task or place they are working because it will be someone else’s problem when they are gone.

Basically another way to call out people for being lazy flogs.

Sparky 1 - Jeez, cleaning these cable clippings will take forever…
Sparky 2 - Nah mate hasn’t anyone told you we work on the You Jack System!!!

New worker walks into communal kitchen and finds person has used and not replaced any of the paper towel, milk and left dirty dishes behind… thinks to themselves jeez these flogs work on the You Jack System here.

by Leader of the idiot parade January 29, 2024

Cat Distribution System

CDS A discrete and mysterious framework of assigning and delivering cats to unsuspecting persons. Functions on unknown parameters; furthers unknown wills. It's workings are usually perceived as random or lucky events.

there is reason to suspect that this is in fact a deliberate scheme devised by a global network of feline intelligentsia as a means to facilitate the gradual subversion of the human race

Guy: my buddy and his wife has a cat now, he says it came to them randomly as they were saying their vows at their wedding. He has only God to thank for that one!
Guy2: Heck, that's awesome. But it wasn't God. It was the Cat Distribution System.

by gnosticgnome March 16, 2024

Decatur public transit system

A sex move where just before penetration, you get up an hour early and just walk. Because with the Decatur public transit system, you're literally better off walking cuz if you don't, you're getting fucked!

I gave Margaret a Decatur public transit system last night. At least when I walked I was on time.

by Ih8thebus April 9, 2024

Plagiarized information synthesis system

The correct name for what is sometimes called AI

You "Did you see that google released a new Plagiarized information synthesis system ?"

"Wow. Does this PISS remove copyright from its training data even quicker than the previous PISS?"

by moose_mousse March 4, 2025

Asshole Recognition System (ARS)

The Asshole Recognition System (ARS) is a futuristic bidtech (bidet technology) leveraging AI and image recognition to ensure a hands-free, paperless toileting experience. Incorporating Precision Fecal Targeting (PFT) as well as Adaptive Butt Monitoring (ABM) the Asshole Recognition System is able to achieve an impressive 99.5% Shit Elimination Ratio (SER).

My ass was so swollen and wrecked from aggressive wiping, but now is ridiculously clean and ready to take on any challenge of the day. Thank you Asshole Recognition System (ARS)!

by CleanAssLover April 29, 2025

Dynamic-Complex System Mechanics

Dynamic-Complex System Mechanics is an extension of Dynamic-Complex Mechanics that treats entire systems—not individual components—as the fundamental units of analysis. It emphasizes system-level behaviors such as emergence, self-organization, resilience, and phase transitions. The mechanics describe how systems adapt, reorganize, and maintain coherence while far from equilibrium. Rather than isolating variables, this framework studies how meaning, structure, and function arise collectively through multi-scale interactions across physical, biological, and extraphysical domains.

A multiversal network reorganizes itself after the collapse of several universes, redistributing probability and stabilizing remaining structures. The system survives not by preserving components, but by reconfiguring relationships between them. In Dynamic-Complex System Mechanics.

by AbzuInExile January 24, 2026