The man that slid down your CHIMNEY to break in that one Christmas Eve and ate all your FUCKING COOKIES. He wears red and white. Uses reindeer as slaves, and asks little kids to sit on his lap. Don’t sit on his lap.
by CallaDutyBoi420 October 10, 2018
Get the Santa mug.when you're baby Daddy is a fat drunk idiot who only remembers he has kids on Christmas and shows up hammered with Christmas presents that arent evwn age appropriate because he's too drunk to remember how old his kids are now.
So Drunk Santa stumbled in for his annual visit on Christmas with a Tonka Trunk for Noah, whos 17 and a Dora the Explorer backpack for Ashley, who is 16,, 2 bottles of Tito and a crap ton of stanky breath. It was awesome.
by Hula_girlkicksit September 2, 2018
Get the drunk santa mug.by Mavrick and Goose December 27, 2007
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This is why you get such shitty presents.
He unfortunately doesn't stalk you every night but your parents do, And it's not because they want to give you the right present.
This is why you get such shitty presents.
He unfortunately doesn't stalk you every night but your parents do, And it's not because they want to give you the right present.
Friend: Santa isn't real
Me: yes he is
Friend: were is your proof
Me: last time I checked he was in my mums purse
Me: yes he is
Friend: were is your proof
Me: last time I checked he was in my mums purse
by Some sadist November 30, 2019
Get the Santa mug.Santa is a fat bastard that doesn't exist. He used to be called St. Nicolas and travels round the world delivering presents on Christmas Eve.
by Tjasus December 29, 2018
Get the Santa mug.Fake person that your parents tell you is real and comes once a year when it’s actually your parents and they want you to be 5 and think it’s real
*chrismas eve*Parents:Santa is coming tonight!You have to go to bed early.
Parents at 12 am:*Puts presents under tree*
Parents at 12 am:*Puts presents under tree*
by Therandombee November 27, 2019
Get the Santa mug.The yearning experienced by converts to Messianic Judaism during Catholic holidays in general, but more specifically, that during Christmas, while experiencing bum out at the traditional hybridized figure of Santa Claus, who bears attire traditionally worn more so by the Babylonian child-sacrifice high priest, Tammuz, during his traditional dying of eggs in baby blood with his mother Easter on Tammuz's birthday, December 25th.
It sure seems ironic that we have to explain each year in such detail that Sukkot means YeHoVaH's feast of tabernacles, when the Messiah was *actually* born, and that YeHoVaH specified His feasts as being for every generation of His people. Nobody ever really has a clue they are celebrating child abuse in its purest form at all these Easter egg hunts and Christmas parties. And then, on top of it, we even have to explain how YeHoVaH said not to be serving him according to foreign religious traditions. It's like people are referencing a deity they don't even really have a clue about when they say Christmas is a biblical holiday. I'm just Santa-Suck-It! Sukkot Jonesin'.
by pardonnez-moi de trébucher December 24, 2022
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