If life was fair there would only be one bra size

What my grandmother told me every time I complained about something that was unfair.

If life was fair there would only be one bra size.

by awmm February 23, 2021

If ever I find her…

If ever I should find her:

*I promise to give my time, my word, my hand, my heart, my love, my life.

*I promise to kneel with you, stand by you, walk beside you, lay next to only you.

*I promise "good morning beautiful" and "good night love".

*I promise to listen to your dreams, to support you as you chase your dreams, to celebrate you as you realize your dreams.

*I promise hugs in abundance, kisses in public, snuggles as needed, love as if it is endless.

*I promise breakfast in bed, breakfast in Rome, breakfast by a campfire, breakfast without the clean-up.

*I promise Christmas in July, Valentine's Day everyday, you will be my favorite holiday.

*I promise morning talks to evening walks.
*I promise sunrises holding hands to moonlights holding you close.

*I promise waking to dreams to falling asleep having lived a daydream.

*I promise to do the work, to do my 100 percent, to do what I promised I would do.

*I promise to grow with you, to grow old with you, to grow more in love with you.

*I promise joy in the mundane moments, love in the difficult moments, life in the simple moments.

*I promise joy without end, love without conditions, life without limits.

*I promise you will know you are loved.

If ever I find her…
Life changes. I will never lose hope.
These, my promises.

by Aurelius Vicque August 21, 2023

If coffee came from the sun, then the microwave is infinite.

A common phrase people use when they want to drop unwanted and unnecessary individuals from their lives.

The thing is if coffee came from the sun, then the microwave is infinite. I’m dropping you.

by kakakala September 2, 2020

If wE cAmE FRom mOnKeYs, tHen whY aRe TheRE StILl MoNKeyS?

In creationism people believe that everything came in this Earth the way they are now, this claim has no scientific proof for it's self. Creationists like to think up weird examples to make their false belief, like "your cereal box will never randomly come out one day and put it's self in your bowl, and the milk won't either, even in millions of years." The question today is "If we came from monkeys, then why are there still monkeys?" this makes no sense, first off, we came from neither monkeys nor apes, we are just more related to modern day apes than monkeys, we split from the classic modern day apes about 7MYA or 7 million years ago. Second, all of them are dead, like the dinosaurs, mammoths and other life, everything goes extinct, they did to, and we may also, so don't ever say this in a sentence, and remember, we came from extinct ape ancestors.

Creationist: "If wE cAmE FRom mOnKeYs, tHen whY aRe TheRE StILl MoNKeyS?"

People who believe in the truth: "that makes no fucking sense."

by Tiktaalik fan April 19, 2022

if 2 vegans fight is it still beef

yes but organic beef

if 2 vegans fight is it still beef because it is just organic.

by Pseudonym of LIFE January 4, 2018

If the shoe fits, wear it

When someone is being indirectly criticized or called out, "to whom it may concern".

Announcement: It has come to our attention that certain individuals have been browsing pornographic content using the business wi-fi, we needn't remind you that such behavior is prohibited.

John: Damn, I forgot to close out that Incognito web page before using the public wi-fi. "If the shoe fits, wear it", huh? I'm just glad they didn't call me out specifically lol.

by Zero Regrets October 5, 2018

Bird (if you're from the south)

A female counterpart of a male, whom they are very much attracted to and are in a relationship. they are happy to see, hear, touch, smell and taste one another

Bird (if you're from the south) -

i.e "alright son what you got there then?!" " O alright geezer this is my BIRD" (kisses on the lips and looks lovingly into their eyes)

by tashaej250 April 4, 2012