Jesus Powers

noun, at least I think so. could be a noun, could be an adjective, who gives a shit. parts of speech are lame anyway.

"Jesus Powers" is the description one applies to a particular person when a particular situation has occurred that defies logic and reason. When the impossible has not only been made possible, but accomplished as well then an individual may be referred to as having Jesus Powers.

(During a late night online first-person shooter match)

Guy 1:"Dude! I shot this asshole with, like, 30 fuckin' bullets! No fuckin' way he could have survived that shit. I was lighting his ass up!"

Guy 2: "Dude's got fuckin' Jesus powers man."

(While attending a magic show)

"How does Criss Angel do that shit? Must have Jesus powers."

Guy 1: "Fuckin' Jesus powers."

by COD blows BFBC2 ROCKS September 11, 2011

Lesbian Jesus

An ethereal being, If you find a hot gay being, There is a chance that they are Lesbian Jesus. They lord over and watch over gays. You will know you have met Lesbian Jesus if they bless your fucking soul by saying "Gay gay homosexual gay." NOT ALL GAYS ARE LESBIAN JESUS.

Gay #1: ITS LESBIAN FUCKING JESUS
Gay #2: FUCK WE GOTTA BOW

Lesbian jesus is a gay being

by Lesbianjesusfolower#582 June 28, 2023

jesus cabbage

Synonym for marijuana

"It's not devils lettuce, it's jesus cabbage

by Pretty.odd.stan July 31, 2017

Tape Jesus

A formal religion that exists in only certain minds. It is nearly impossible to join because Jesus is part of a clout gang.

Unfortunately, Tape Jesus is unavailable because his cult is worshipping him at the moment.

by Tape Jesus’s Secretary December 22, 2018

prison Jesus

“Ones whom looks like a “prison” Jesus”

By golly Mr buddle, you look like prison Jesus!

by COLEPEDERSON November 4, 2022

Jesus Jugs

Any fake looking bitch that claims it's all about Jesus but sins on the daily.

Hey did you see Jesus jugs over there . Her nose is so fake ,it's going to crumble like Michael Jackson's did and fall off .

by anonymous December 14, 2021

Jesus FC

A term used by football enthusiasts in lieu of "Jesus Fucking Christ" whenever someone misses a really easy shot. Originally used to refer to Gabriel Jesus, but now can be used to refer to any player

Jesus FC, how does Balotelli miss that?

by j0k#r October 29, 2019