Mid-life Douche

A sub-species of douche between the ages of 30-45, usually divorced. While this particular douche may have once been a decent human being, the onset of a Mid-life Crisis leads to increasingly douchey behavior and eventually, the transformation into a total douche. The Mid-life Crisis Douche will often begin drinking excessively and/or doing a large quantity of illegal drugs and will sleep with or attempt to sleep with much younger women in order to recapture his youth. He will also become obsessed with the gym and will begin buying expensive, tight fitting clothing to show off his "new physique." He will also have an increasing need to be the center of attention; especially when intoxicated. He often uses humor to gain the attention of those around him, and he often resorts to making jokes at the expense of others to distract himself from his own crippling insecurities. The Mid-life Douche can be spotted in clubs dancing awkwardly next to much younger girls, or in a local bar drinking excessively, laughing at his own jokes, or telling stories of his "conquests." This is a degenerative condition. Once someone begins the slide into Mid-life douchebaggery, it is only a matter of time before they morph into a full blown douchebag.

Man, ever since Sean hit 35 he's started to become a Mid-life douche!

by doucheh8er June 11, 2011

Mr. Douchebag

A Song by Your Favorite Martian.

"Dear Mr. Douchebag,

we all agree that,

you are a DUMBASS!

Why cant you see that?"

by TimeIsntTicking June 4, 2022

Douche Alert

When a douche bag aka dousch bag is approaching yourself and others and you must warn them before the douche gets close enough.

Where is Drew? Oh he's in the dishroom where he belongs. Here he comes, Douche alert!!! Douche alert!!!

by Soda Fountain May 15, 2006

douche

obnoxious frat guys who think they are the shit. Obvious indicators include blonde girlfriends, popped collars, baggy clothes and the intention to get drunk during every waking moment

Spencer Pratt pretty much screams DOUCHE

by dfhjkhfkhsfj February 27, 2008

douchebaggerey

A negative term used to describe someone in the act or acting like a douchebag. The act of being or acting like a douchebag twat dipshit bro

Dude... Do you see that flat rimmed hat wearing Bro shittastic fucktard with the emo pants. That is some serious douchebaggerey right there.

by MARK MACFARLANE July 31, 2007

douche hole

A person who is equal parts douchebag and asshole. Usually reserved for the males species but not always.

Matt: I'm watching the game and having a brewskie, come over?
Ryan: Sorry man, I got a roller blading competition in an hour.
Matt: Ice skating after that? When did you become such a fucking douche hole?

by Mo Nuts May 11, 2007

Douchebag

a willfully ignorant person considered to be a waste of sperm thus polluting the environment from their idiot infection.

any irritating, mis-matching information giving individual who is careless and reckless in societal settings.

any given person suffering from shithead syndrome, dickhead disease, moron malignancy, terminal temper, two-faced tremors or any maliciously intended "cognitive blooper".

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"So dude/chick told me this and then later changed her story claiming another"

"What a douchebag."
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"Dick/Bitch almost hit me on the bike with their truck/car/van."

"What a douchebag."

by Douchebag Annihilator January 2, 2010