Table Captain

THE SICK FUCK IN THIRD GRADE THAT BITCHED ME AROUND TO GET MY GOD DAMN CRAYONS.

im gonna beat the shit outta the table captain.

by That one taco June 18, 2016

table gravy

The mixture of liquid and food waste on a table, fresh or dry. When dry it is often sticky.

Peter: "Aw man... someone left us some table gravy..."
Jimmy: "Eww... it's all dry too. No use trying to clean that up... Let's find another seat."

by Jerkoffjacklick September 6, 2016

Table Pounder

A conversation that gets you so worked up it makes you hit the table. Usually to draw attention or show anger.

Man if you tell a sexist jokes around her she becomes a real table pounder.

by She_knows_it November 15, 2016

tablebear

A very weird awkward man. Must be a male to be one. He is the one to always say the dumb puns and jokes such as knock knock jokes.

Mike is so weird, he always says the stupidest things, he's such a tablebear.

by Eilah234 January 24, 2017

table shaker

banging a girl so hard on a table

i gave her the table shaker last night

by your pseudm December 5, 2016

tabletop influenza

To do a line of cocaine, and get a runny nose shortly afterwards.

Hey Tyrone I don't know why my nose is that runny.
Hey Johnny, have you got tabletop influenza?

by bmwtuner August 14, 2017

Table Top

The act of having a three way but using the unlucky 3rd as the table

John-Tom, you want to table top
Tom-No, I always lose

by SilversSun May 3, 2017